Wired's Top 10 gadget ads of 2007

I love this ad. You can see the other ads that made the top ten at Wired's "The 10 Best Gadget Ads of 2007". Check 'em out.

Part 11: Sam and Emma Defenders of Earth

Be sure to read parts 1-10 first.

"Emma, it's Sam, I see you on my radar."

Emma looked at the radar square in the corner of her helmet display. It was filled with red dots and one green dot. When Sam spoke again the dot pulsed brighter.

"I climbed in a window on the tower." Sam said.

"Your on the other side of the guards?" Emma asked.

"Yep. I have my gummyball gun, but I can't sneak up on them.

Emma had an idea. "I'll yell at them and when they turn this way, you blast 'em."

"OK" Sam agreed.

Emma counted down, "On three. One, two, Three!"

Emma jumped around the corner and yelled. She could feel her chest plate vibrating and her voice boomed inside the vestibule. The guards were startled and turned to see. As they lifted crossbows, maces and swords, a blizzard of gummyballs blew down the stairs. Some had time to struggle, others were caught where they stood. Their protective armor turned to a prison.

Emma could hear Sam laughing on the radio as he peaked around the corner and waved her up the stairs. The stone stairwell circled around the inside of the tower ten stories. They were nearly at the top when Sam stopped and backed into Emma. A hail of crossbow bolts clattered against the wall ahead of them.

Sam yelled, "Holy crap he's big!"

Emma could feel the stairs tremble as something came toward them. Sam sent video from his helmet to the corner of Emma's faceplate. When he jumped around the corner again she could see a huge man filling the stairwell. Sam plastered the giant and the stirwell with gummyballs. Soon there was a wall of hardened foam with the giant stuck inside. Emma came up next to Sam and admired his handiwork.

"Wow!" She said as she clapped Sam on the back.

Sam showed her triple zeros on his gun. "That took all my ammo."

Emma soon realized they had a problem; how to get farther up the stairs. Sam had already tried to climb the outside and only made it three floors. Above the giant was a hole in the new wall.

"If we could make that hole bigger we could climb over." Sam suggested.

Emma made a step with her hands and Sam climbed to her shoulders. Standing on her shoulders he began knocking chunks of the material out. He then crawled up onto the giants head and helped Emma up over the wall. They could hear the guards downstairs freeing each other as they hopped down on the other side.

Sam and Emma now stood before the tower door.

Stay tuned for more.

Suddenly I hear

Suddenly I hear
A knocking at the door,
Together with the sounds of drunken singing.
I hardly know what I am doing.
Pushing my glass aside,
I rush to welcome my guest.
We share the relaxation
Of poetic wildness,
So that our craving for wine
Gives us special intimacy.

Darkness

Darkness,
Dimly lit streets,
A Cool Breeze arches over the city.
Soft music threads it's way through the alleyways.
This is my city. I protect it. I can't protect it all the time. I must work during the day, but at night, I take to the rooftops and shadows.
Watching, lurking.
The pages of myth and legend tell the tale. Hercules, Robin Hood, Francois Villon, Don Quixote. All of them protecting the innocent and fighting the tyranny of evil men.
I too, keep watch.
There are those that deserve vengeance.
Striking quietly.
I protect another person.
I do not seek thanks, or fame, or fortune.
Just smiles and laughter, and peace of mind.
People used to laugh and smile and feel safe, But things change.
You must be ever vigil.
I failed to protect someone once. It wont happen again.
There, on the street. A girl has left a bar. Walking, walking.
One of the bums asks her for change. I know he is harmless.
The girl gives him some change and a smile, and continues.
She must have driven to the city to drink and dance.
Down a fire escape, through an alley, I follow.
I pass a prostitute at work. Animal noises, halting breaths.
I stop for a moment to ponder the two. One scared and excited, the other cold and constant.
Who should be protected?
Neither.
I move on.
I see a man in a doorway across the street.
Darkness shrouds him.
He leans against the glass.
The girl is approaching.
I scour the opening with my eyes.
Is he just a vagrant, who has found a place to rest?.
He has no packs.
Maybe he has just gotten high; guilt driving him into dark solitude.
He hears the girl coming. He straightens.
I sense he is poised to pounce.
The girl walks on.
Closer.
I think he has something in his hand.
She is nearing the opening.
I see a glint of light.
She Doesn't see him there.
Waiting.
The man plucks her from the street.
She can't scream.
I break from my place in safety.
Running now across the street.
He is tearing the clothes from the girl.
I hurry on.
He is touching her trembling body.
Hand searching for stolen pleasures.
I land on the sidewalk.
Startled, the man falls forward, body pressing against the naked form.
He is lulled by the soft warm flesh. Suddenly wishing it didn't have to be like this.
I attack.
I snap him to his feet.
Pressing his head through the glass,
I take the knife from his hands.
The girl has backed into the corner.
She tries to cover herself with the tatters of her clothes.
He swings back with his fist.
Grabbing his arm I twist on my feet. Throwing him to the sidewalk.
He writhes in pain.
I press the knife deep into his back.
Air and blood spray from the hole in his lung.
Now I must be human again.
I offer the girl my coat.
Helping her to her feet.
She holds me tightly.
I carry her away from the dyeing man.
I do not enjoy killing, But it is my job.
I have done my job.

Baby Names

I found a list of baby names I was compiling when my wife got pregnant a couple of years back. Enjoy.

To see what the most popular baby names were for any decade in US history, check out the Social Security website.

Girls

Penelope
Amelia
Veronica
Vivian
Lydia-F
Trinity-B
Sharon-F
Etta-F
Kimberly-F
Chloe
Daphne
Isabella
Maya
Pam-F

Boys

Jacob-F
Logan
Cosmo-TV
Atom
Casper-F
Gene-F
Timothy-FB
Paul-B
Max
Nelson
Kirk-TV
Luke-M
Stone
Marshall
Xavier
Vince
Ray
Sam
Otto
Luther
Alexander
Warren
Felix
Elwood
Mister
Buster
Lucien
Leopold
Chaz
Lucius
Ike
Avery
Zack
Major
Loyal
Duke
Butch
Rod
Hudson

Hydro Train

Ha! My wife told me about this video and I had to post it. Make sure your kids do their homework.

Hydro car

A great commercial. I hope it inspires many kids.

Part 10: Sam and Emma Defenders of Earth

Be sure to read parts 1-9 first.

The computer greeted Sam and Emma as they arrived. They walked down to the lab where Sam and the computer had made his suit of armor.

"Computer, we are going to make a suit of armor for my sister. I also want to make a copy of this radar module, so we can have one in each suit."

The computer cheerfully replied, "I can help you accomplish those goals."

"Good. Emma's suit should be bullet proof like mine and have strength motors."

Sam turned to explain, "It's like having way big muscles."

The computer paused and made an audible crackle as it measured Emma with lasers and calculated dimensions. Finally, "I will begin immediately. The suit will be ready in two hours. Until it is finished I can begin teaching Emma the controls."

"Don't forget the radar and the radio." Sam said.

"Yes." said the computer.

While the ship made Emma's real suit it created hologram versions for Sam and her to train in. The hologram room was a lot of fun. Sam played his holo-games of capture the flag. car racing and epic battles. Emma preferred surroundings that were a little more serene; enchanted castles, lavish tea parties or mermaid beach.

As they walked into the room they found one of Emma's castles. Things looked different though. The ship's computer had created a challenge for them.

Sam saw it right away, "We need to get into the castle I bet."

The computer explained the suit to Emma as she put it on. When she was ready they got their mission.

"Each of you must find your own way into the castle and retrieve the kings scepter from the tower."

The castle had a great wall surrounded by a moat.

"You'll never beat me!" Sam yelled as he leapt across the moat.

Emma could not believe her eyes. The suit allowed Sam to jump the 10ft moat in one bound. On the other side was the castle wall. Sam stuck his arm through a narrow opening in the wall meant for archers. He then climbed up the wall using the cracks and seams.

Emma knew her suit could make the jump but she wasn't sure she wanted to climb the wall, it was very high. She would run and look for another way in.

Emma was just about to go around the first corner when she heard a scream She turned and saw something fall from the wall. As she squinted to see, the suit magnified the view through her faceplate. It was a castle guard. He splashed into the moat and started yelling for the other guards. Sam disappeared over the wall as the entire castle came alive with guards.

Arrows came whizzing over her head. She ducked and ran towards the main entrance. Emma could still hear a whistling noise. It was the wind rushing past as she ran. She rounded the bend to go across the bridge into the castle, but was moving to fast. She could see the drawbridge being raised just before she slid off into the moat.

Emma struggled to swim but the suit was too heavy. She held her breath as long as she could but was unable to reach the surface. The mud came up to meet her. She was about to scream when her radio came on. The computers voice instructed, "If you would like to engage the fins you may engage them with the voice command 'engage fins.'.

Emma laughed, she didn't know the suit was waterproof. She decided to walk. The moat wasn't very deep and she thought she might find a way in. She could see a few arrows floating on the surface as she walked. Soon a dark opening loomed ahead. She peered into the blackness. All that was visible were the readouts on her faceplate. A group of bubbles had 85 minutes next to it. that must be air. Next to that was a lightning bolt. Suit power was 96%. there was also a circle. Emma stared at it for a second and it suddenly filled in as a set of lights came on. Her helmet had high powered flashlights.

"Headlights!" Emma giggled.

The suit was amazing The motors whirred to life as she moved. Even though she was under water with 60lbs. of armor, she felt as if she were walking at a normal pace. After a few meters the ground sloped up. Soon her head was above the water. A torch was flickering on the other side of a grate up ahead.

Emma knew she wouldn't fit through the bars wearing the suit. She grabbed the bars with her gauntlets and pulled them apart. They bent, but not enough to get through. She remembered how fast she ran outside and decided to use her new legs to help. Placing her hands on the grate and then a foot on either side she gave the mightiest grunt that she could. The bars began to bend and then the stones around the grate crumbled and fell. Now she was in the castle.

Staring at the circle again, Emma made her lights go out. She could sneak much better that way. She was in a corridor lit by torches. She made her way up to the second floor without seeing any guards. they must be looking for Sam, she thought.

After looking out a window to get her bearings she found the stairs to the tower. They were surrounded by armed guards. Emma wasn't sure what to do. Then she heard a voice.

Stay tuned for more.

Really beautiful snowflake movies

Check out these beautiful snowflake movies from Caltech.

Water molecules and cold are awesome.

Reward for dog: Cash

This is Ruffy. He has been a wonderful dog. I have had him almost 30 years. Now my daughter plays with him and loves him just as much as I ever did.

There is something in his subtle expression and lanky limbs that imbues him with more character than any other toy I have owned.

I remember him dancing when I was happy, hugging when I was sad and shaking his head when I was mad.

I watched my daughter rap his arms around her neck and give him a piggy back ride the other day and was reeled way back to 1983, when I used to put Ruffy on my back and fly around the house with his arms between my shoulders and my jaw.

Somewhere out there are dogs just like this one. My mom says ours was found in Lynden Washington in 1977 0r '78. I am offering a reward of $100 dollars to anyone that can find another one of these plush brown dogs, like the one pictured and will allow me to tell its story.
I would love to see pictures of Ruffy's brothers and sisters with their owners.

Pass this post to others and email friends.
Thanks,
Ray Randell
Http://wherewasitnow.blogspot.com
claytonrayrandell@gmail.com

Sci-Fi quiz. They asked me if I speak Klingon. I said, "It's Klingonese Pa'Tak"

	I received 70 credits on The Sci Fi Sounds Quiz How much of a Sci-Fi geek are you?
Take the Sci-Fi Movie Quiz canon s5 is

Part 9: Sam and Emma Defenders of Earth

Be sure to read parts 1-8

"I was born on this world. I and my parents, my brother and sister lived in a city by the sea. Maybe 2 million Tumel lived there."

The pad zoomed into the planed until Emma and Sam could see the tall buildings and streets of a modern city.

"The Tumel were a peaceful race. We had given up waring with ourselves and our neighbors centuries ago. Then the lizards came."

The hologram of the city darkened. The skies grew stormy and rained fire.

Pachra continued, "All over our world the beasts attacked and consumed the people. Even pets and livestock."

The holograms shifted. Each new scene a fresh disaster. Shadows belched fire and swooped down upon people in the streets and animals in the fields.


"Our people made weapons and trained armies, the Tumel held them at bay for a year, but we were running out of resources. My parents were killed. My siblings and I were carried away by a freighter with other refugees."

Pachra looked directly at Sam. " I was little, like you boy."

The hologram showed a great beast lying slain in the street with the Tumel cheering.

"My people began to defeat them; we had hope. Then Deep Nest came."

The clouds above the cheering people were pushed aside as a great ship came into view. It was dark and dirty. It had no real shape, like an asteroid. There were windows and doors across the surface; at every conceivable angle. A great beam of light hit the ground and swung towards the crowd. The hologram was washed with light and when it cleared Emma and Sam could see the whole world again. Now the world was dark and smoky. A dozen of the ships moved from city to city scorching the ground. The hologram faded away.


"They let the monsters at us until we were weak and the swooped in for the kill. those that escaped the burning of the cities, were hunted by mechanical tanks. Tanks with wight legs driven by spiders. No picture was ever taken, but when my grandson Jaryk told me about the aliens you met, my blood ran cold. I knew I had to come. Deep Nest took our world and mined it for everything of value. They took slaves. When they had what they wanted the vile creatures left."

Emma had been crying, now she began to sob. She took the old man's hand.

"I am so sorry." She said.

Pachra patted Emma's head.

"Young one, I cried all my tears long ago. It has been 150 years since they left. The Tumel are now nomads and in our travels we have seen other worlds that suffered the same fate. Our world was the last. Deep Nest has not shown itself in all that time, but I fear that time has past."

Sam smashed his little fist on the table.

"We can't let them do that again!"

Emma was startled. "What can we do? We can't fight. We don't even know where their home world is."

Sam reached into his pocket and pulled out a stone. When Pachra saw the dragon in the store he set back from the table.

Sam said, "They gave us this. Now that I see how big they get, I'm glad I didn't plant it. Ambassador Sheee-Sheee said they were from a desert."

Pachra looked closer at the stone. "Is it an Egg?"

Sam set it on the table. "It's supposed to be a seed."

Pachra eyed the rock warily. "Be careful with that. In the mean time Jaryk and I will try to find out more about where this desert is."

Emma gave Pachra a hug. The alien did not seem to know what to do with a hug but he smiled for the first time since they had met.

Sam and Emma boarded the pod. Sam closed the dragon seed in a locker and got strapped in. Emma got her seat belt on. Just as Sam was about to hit the control to go home Emma stopped his hand.

"Let's go to the ship first." Emma said.
"Why?" Sam asked.
"I think the ship should make me some armor"

Stay tuned for more.

The Golden Ticket

What luck. I have been dreaming of going to the MacWorld Expo in San Francisco for years. I never had the money for a ticket, but this year I was quick on the draw for one of a hundred passes being given out by MicroSpot UK. Woot!

I just need to get a couple of days off work, find a place to stay, get money for gas, drive down and; did I mention that the expo is on the 18th of next month?

I am so excited, the exhibit list has a booth from every tech company I have ever wanted to work, for including Google.

I will definitely take pictures and I should be able to Blog from inside the Moscone Center at the Microsoft Blogger Lounge. Schwing!

G-d I am a Geek!

Asimo - The great Robot Exhibition, Japan 2007

uncanny valley n. Feelings of unease, fear, or revulsion created by a robot or robotic device that appears to be, but is not quite, human-like.

robot assembly line

South Park was right. "They took our jobs!!"
Can you work 23 hours a day?

Saudia Arabia and America since 1932; in four minutes

This is from the beginning of 'The Kingdom'. From Neatorama.

PSA

Talk to your kids today, before it's to late.

Part 8: Sam and Emma Defenders of Earth

Be sure to read parts 1-7 first.

When the pod was in position and the airlocks had corrected the air pressure, the doors connecting both ships opened. Emma was used to seeing full grown aliens but Jaryk was a brute. All of Sam's forearm disappeared into Jaryk's fist when they shook hands. Jaryk had to stoop down on one knee to enter the pod and introduce himself to Emma with a kiss on her hand. His whiskers were like bristles and he had short tusks on either side of his mouth. He had long pointy bat ears; the right one was missing about two inches.

Emma had only seen Jaryk on video and thought his skin was green. In person, under the light of the pod she could see he was a very light purple. As she looked past him she could see that the illumination on his ship was green and dim.

As her eyes became accustomed to the dark, she saw the other person with Jaryk. Emma was sure he was the same species as Jaryk, but he looked very old and frail. His back was hunched up almost as high as his ears drooped down.

Jaryk led Emma and Sam forward to meet the old man. "This is Pachra, my grandfather."

Emma bowed slightly. Pachra Shook Sam and Emma's hands. Emma noticed his eyes were sharp but filled with sadness.

As they walked through the cargo hold of the ship Pachra's steps were mechanical and identical in length. He had braces and motors controlling his legs roboticly. The old man's robot legs carried him in the direction that he leaned toward.

Sam was pulling a cart behind him and as they entered the main room of the ship he pushed it up onto the table. Once everyone was seated Sam pulled out the peanut butter, coffee and M&M's. Jaryk set the radar module for Sam's suit on the table. Sam then produced a shoe box with holes in the side. The box disappeared as Jaryk placed his hand over it and slid it to his side of the table. When he saw there were two kittens inside instead of one he slapped his hand on his chest. Emma could see Jaryk's skin turn a deeper purple and his eyes began to sparkle.

"Ha, Earther, you make the deal brighter than we agreed. I am sure you will ask me for a favor someday, and you just might have it."

Sam laughed, "I didn't want one to get lonely so now you have a pair. I am glad you like them, and I might need a favor. Someday."

Jaryk's look became a little more serious, "Don't we all? Some days. As for today my Pachra carries the second part of our deal. I have heard the tale so I will go and stow my goods."

Jaryk rubbed the kittens bellies with one of his great fingers and made little noises and baby squeaks as he walked away.

Pachra placed a tablet on the table. It was the size of a small book. He waved his gnarled hand over the tablet and a soft glow appeared above it. To Emma it looked as though a mist hung over the pad. The fog began to darken and solidify. A beautiful blue-green orb coalesced and began to turn lazily. Sam and Emma leaned closer. The little planet had land and puffy white clouds like Earth. As the land turned toward the night side, little lights appeared. Cities and towns, thought Emma, so like Earth.

Pachra sighed and began his story.

Stay tuned for more.

Barack OBollywood

I am on a roll today. This video is nearly as weird as Kokiriki Busho.

You shouldn't watch the video in fact, it may produce flashbacks or seizures but it is well made and entertaining all the same.

Featured prominently is the Best 'Man' running for president. Barack Obama.

kokiriko bushi

Weird but very catchy. NSFW(animated nudes)

From Pink Tentacle: Omodaka’s 21st-century disco version of Kokiriko Bushi — an ancient folk song that Gokayama (Toyama prefecture) villagers used to perform for the local Shinto deities — combines synthesized vocals with a Stevie Wonder-ish bassline and ’80s video game chiptune sounds, and the wonderfully quirky and surreal video (animated by Teppei Maki) features a fragile skeleton dancer that shares the floor with lots of disembodied hands and floating eyeball-headed ladies. [Video]

Part 7: Sam and Emma Defenders of Earth

Be sure to read parts 1-6 first.

The following day Sam and Emma were preparing to meet Jaryk, when Harold responded to Emma's email. He sent only an image. It was a painting of a large spider. It held a star in each of its eight legs. Around it's neck hung a web sack holding dozens of worlds. Below the spider were characters Emma could not read.

Sam was surprised when he saw it. "Hey! I saw that on one of the doors on Rula Vala III."

"Hmmm..." Emma mused out loud. " I wonder what was behind that door."

Sam snapped his fingers. "It will have to wait Emma. Jaryk wont like it if we are late."

Sam and Emma climbed aboard the pod to fly to Jaryk's ship. Emma remembered the kitten.

"Sam, we forgot the kitten." she said.

"Don't worry. They are on the pod already."

Emma raised an eyebrow at Sam. "What do you mean, 'They'?" she questioned.

Sam kept looking out the pod's computer screen. "I didn't want him to get lonely so I got a girl kitten also."

"A boy and a girl? Do you realize how many cats they will have in a year?" Emma said.

"Gee, your right. Who will supply them with all the tuna and fuzzy balls they are going to need?" Sam snickered.

Emma had no words. Sam was too smart for his own good.

Sam new Emma was troubled and offered, "Jaryk will probably trade one of them away. They all have mice remember?"

"Where did you get two kittens anyway? Emma asked.

Sam rolled his eyes. "Craigslist, duh."

Emma laughed. Sam had always been a little man. Even when he was two, he was never afraid to be by himself. he was always first to touch something wiggly. He was always first to run through a door or crash through the bushes. Now here he was trading goods with space pirates. What an amazing year they've had.

The pod rumbled into orbit. Jaryk's ship did not show on the pods docking radar.

Emma leaned against the window and asked, "Where is he?"

Sam looked out of the windows and smiled. "He's there." he said. "Jaryk is good at hide and seek."

Emma saw a shadow pass over the window and when she looked up she saw Jaryk's ship. It looked dangerous and fast. There were burns and cracks and little craters on it's sides. As it slid over the pod Emma could see a tentacled beast painted on the craft's belly. The beast was dark green on the black hull, except for the eyes. The eyes were blood red and fierce.

Emma looked at the pods docking radar. No ship was detected.

"How does he do that?" she asked.

Sam only shrugged.

Jaryk's ship sank to their level. Two robotic arms sprang from their hiding places on the nose of the vessel and seized the pod. As they were drawn towards the pirate ship, Emma could see Jaryk standing in the forward air-lock. He wasn't alone.

Stay tuned for more.

Six word stories

From Wired Magazine:

The baby’s blood type? Human, mostly.
Orson Scott Card

Wired magazine asked a group of science fiction writers to send in six word stories. The one above is my favorite, however they list over 60 others, from Frank Miller, William Shatner, Stan Lee, Joss Whedon and many more.

Wired says:

We'll be brief: Hemingway once wrote a story in just six words ("For sale: baby shoes, never worn.") and is said to have called it his best work. So we asked sci-fi, fantasy, and horror writers from the realms of books, TV, movies, and games to take a shot themselves.

Two minutes from the past.

Outside of Gloucester, 1784.

Dr. Claveaux: Time does not exist.
Charles: Time doesn't exist? But you have a time machine.
Dr. Claveaux: Things do not move through time, they exist in places, in time. Take that house for instance. If that same house were at the other end of the lane, and I were to burn this one down; what happens to the other house?
Charles: Ah, nothing.
Dr. Claveaux: Exactly.
Charles: Wait, what if you kill your grampa?
Dr. Claveaux: Then my grandfather would be dead, here.
Charles: And in our time?
Dr. Claveaux: He still will not be dead, there.
Charles: I don't get it.
Dr. Claveaux: Yes, well it is a lot of math.

Part 6: Emma and Sam Defenders of Earth

Be sure to read parts 1 through 5 first.

Emma and Sam would have to find out more about the Matawans. The next day Sam began calling friends he knew off world. Emma emailed a friend from Oxford England.

Harold,
We met a mysterious race of large spiders.
They call themselves the Matawan. Have you heard of them?
They were friendly, but Sam ate a small scanning device and saw some of the Matawans snooping his insides.
So few people on Earth know as much as you do about alien history. I hope you can tell us more about them.
Sincerely, Emma V.

Sam called Emma over to his room. On his computer screen was a Tumel Trader. Emma didn't like any of the Tumel Traders she had met so far. Harold considered them no better than pirates. Sam preferred to call them smugglers; and he loved their stories.

This trader was named Jaryk. Sam often got Holo-games from him in exchange for items you could only get on Earth. Some aliens could not get enough peanut butter, chocolate or coffee.

Tumel Traders were not allowed to land on Earth, but Sam was happy to meet them in orbit. He regularly brought Emma jewelry, clothes or music, so she tolerated his side business.

Jaryk saw Emma enter the room.

"Greetings Earther. I hear you met the Arachnids of Deep Nest. They have been out of the light for many years and now they call themselves, Matawan. They are crafty. You are wise to be suspicious of them.

Emma sat down to listen, "How dangerous are they?"

Jaryk narrowed his eyes at Sam.

"Alright Jaryk." said Sam. " I'll bring two, seven pounders of peanut butter and five pounds of coffee."

Jaryk waved his hand, "No Sam. This is not my usual stories. Ten pounds of coffee, the peanut butter, and... a kitten."

Sam smirked, "What do you want a cat for?"

"You do not decide my destiny Sam. That is my offer." Jaryk turned his face to the side, as though ready to walk away.

Sam stroked his chin. "Well, thats not so easy Jaryk." Sam winked at Emma. "You see cats are from Egypt, very loved by their pharaohs and all. How about one peanut butter, five pounds of coffee, the cat..."

"A kitten!" Jaryk interrupts.

"...a kitten and 2 pounds of M&M's for the story and..." Sam pretended to think. "...a radar for my armor?"

" Raauurrghhg! It is illegal for me to trade military goods." Jaryk growled.

"It's not illegal for me." Sam smiled.

Jaryk laughed. " You are good Earther. I think you are lying about the cats and pharaohs, but if you make it peanut M&M's, I'll bring you the radar tomorrow, and tell you what I know about Deep Nest."

"Deal." Sam said, and switched off the screen.

Emma took Sam by the shoulders. "Sam, what is he going to do with a cat?"

"Well if he wanted to eat it, he wouldn't want a kitten." Sam shook his shoulders free.

"We can't give him a kitten." Emma pleaded.

"The Tumel Traders aren't supposed to land on Earth, but some of them did. Now mice have spread all over their ships. They don't want to come back down, but the mice are eating up their stuff. I bet Jaryk wants to get rid of his mice. My friend Sharat called last week wanting to know how to get rid of his mice."

"What did you say?" asked Emma.

"I traded him a five pound block of cheddar and a cage, to get a new power supply for my suit." Sam replied.

Emma wondered, "A cage? Is he going to keep them?"

"I said that mice were good luck. Now he'll want cheese and crackers to trade." Sam chuckled.

"Sam, I don't think I like you telling fibs." Emma chastised.

"That's how they trade. They didn't trust me when I was honest. They were offended. Sharat says if you don't try to cheat them, it's an insult; like you think they are lazy or dumb." Sam thought this was fair. "We all know that the other person might lie."

"Well don't get in any trouble." Emma offered.

Sam gave a double thumbs up. "No way, they love me."

Stay tuned for more.

Part 5: Sam and Emma Defenders of Earth

Be sure to read parts 1 through 4 first.

Emma tried to keep up. When she got to the pod, Sam was throwing levers, flipping toggles and pushing buttons for lift off.

Emma tried to ask Sam what was going on, "Samuel Gene, just what is the meaning of this. I don't mind you running off to play, but we can't just dine and dash like that!"

Sam pointed to a seat and said, " Put your belt on."

"Emma could hear the pod's engines come on. She jumped into a seat and buckled in.

The sunset befan to move in reverse as the pod ascended back up to the ship.

Sam eyed Emma, "Did you eat the orange beetles with black heads?"

Emma gagged, "Are you kidding?"

Sam relaxed, "Good, they were bugged."

"I'll say! Wait, what?" Emma didn't like the look on Sam's face.

The computer slowed the pod and guided it into the side of the ship.

As Sam jogged out of the pod, "I'll show you in the lab."

Sam spent a lot of time in the lab. He studied with thee computer and made little projects.
Sam shoved a bunch of things off his workbench onto the floor.

"Computer, scan this." Sam placed a small blue object onto the scanning pad. There was a tiny blinking light on one end and the whole device smaller than a popcorn kernel.

The computer spoke flatly, "Working...working. It is a very sophisticated biological scanning device."

Sam picked the device up again, the light was getting dim. "How does it work?"

"It is powered by weak acids and transmits scans of nearby tissue to a remote location."

"So it has to be in your stomach to work." Sam said to himself.

Emma was very glad to be away from the Matawans at the moment. She turned Sam away from the counter to face her.

"What is going on? Where did you get that?"

Sam began his story, "I was playing hide and seek with 'Click-click-tock' and I climbed into a vent in a side-room. There was a light on the other end so I crawled over to peek. Inside were four Matawans looking at computers. One was watching you in the library and the other three were looking at my insides on the computer. There was a video of the inside of my stomach and scans of my lungs and stuff. I couldn't tell what they were saying, but I don't think they are as friendly as they say.

Emma plopped onto the stool next to Sam.

"That was in your stomach?"

"Yep." Sam said.

"How'd you get it out?"

Sam grinned.

Emma grimaced. "Eeewww!"

"Wait till they smell that vent."

Stay tuned for more

Part 4: Sam and Emma; Defenders of Earth

Don't forget to read parts 1 through 3 first.

Emma thanked Ambassador Sheee-Sheee for all the hardwork that went into the meal and entertainment.

"I understand that to humans our appearance can be alarming. I am glad that you and Sam stayed long enough to enjoy our hospitality. We have been eager to meet with the people of Earth."

"Oh, Ambassador, we love meeting new friends. I regret that so few people on Earth know about all the beings in our galaxy." Emma said.

The Ambassador held two pairs of his front legs together in thought.

"Well, Emma of Earth, the Chuchi people that commissioned you and Sam to travel and meet so many of those beings, understand how a species can be frightened of outsiders. We ourselves have been reluctant to, come out of our nest, so to speak. There are still those among us who are fearful of exposing ourselves. Our new Queen, however, believes we must make it known to our neighbors that the Matawans are here."

Emma wanted very much to meet the Queen.

"Will we see her highness on this visit, Ambassador?" Emma asked.

"At the moment she is on our home-world. In fact, I have never known her to leave. Very busy, you know? I will be sure she knows what a great experience it has been to meet the Earthlings." the Ambassador said.

Emma was happy to hear this, and said,

"Well, you have been a great host. When it is time for all the people of Earth to know about our neighbors, the Matawans will be known for the kindness we saw today."

"I am glad to hear that Miss Emma. Will you and Sam be staying the night?"

Emma wanted to stay longer, but they needed to get home.

"We will have to save that for another time, Ambassador. Sam and I must return home soon."

The Ambassador snapped his mandibles twice and his assistant came to his side.

"Please let 'click-click-tock' know that our guests must leave soon. Explain to master Sam that Miss Emma and I will be in the library waiting for him." The Ambassador said, and then waved the assistant off.

The Ambassador led Emma to the other side of the great room and opened a door to what looked like an elevator shaft. Emma leaned in and saw that there was no lift.

The Ambassador turned to Emma and said, "Miss Emma, as you have no web of your own, I am afraid I must carry you down."

Emma neither liked heights or spiders. She did her best not to tremble as the great insect gently scooped her off the floor. She did make a small "Ahhh" as the Ambassador swung into the shaft and dropped 10 stories, straight down, before slowing to an easy stop at the bottom.

The library ceiling was high above them. The library itself, spread out before them for perhaps two kilometers. The massive ceiling was covered with murals of spiders doing all manner of things. Some built temples, some built machines and others flew ships. There were paintings of spiders making discoveries and setting foot on alien worlds.

Between the floor and ceiling were lengths of metal shaped into pillars of web. Emma wondered if they held the ceiling up, or the floor.

The Ambassador was showing her a picture of the first of their kind to fly, when her pocket vibrated. She had forgotten the walkie-talkie Sam had given her earlier. Two buzzes meant that he was checking to see if she was OK. She didn't want to interrupt Ambassador Sheee-Sheee, so she slipped her hand into her pocket and keyed the button twice to signal back. Sam had told her something else about the walkie-talkies; She couldn't remember. He could find her somehow. They had little screens on the front that must guide him.

Now the Ambassador was pointing to a small model of the first Matawan plane. It looked to Emma like the wings of a moth. When the Ambassador turned a crank on the front of the display, the wings flapped.

Emma was just noticing what looked like little bombs strapped to the bottom when the Ambassador's assistant came skittering out of the shaft. he was chattering away in their spider language.

Ambassador Sheee-Sheee turned to Emma, "We can't find your brother. Where would he go?"

Emma wasn't sure she liked the Ambassador's tone. She was about to say so, when a rope hit the floor beside her. Sam slid down from a skylight and landed beside Emma. Emma couldn't help but notice Sam's gauntleted hand resting on his gummyball gun.

Sam looked Emma over and surveyed the huge room. "Well, thanks for everything guy's; Emma and I should be going now."

Emma thought this terribly rude, but Sam always had a good reason when he was impolite.

She said, "Yes, Sam is right. Thank you for everything. We'll be in touch."

Sam attached the rope to a pulley on his belt as Emma spoke to the Ambassador. As she finished speaking Sam looped some rope under her arms and engaged the pulley. Emma and Sam rocketed up the rope. Sam didn't slow down until they reached the top. Emma could hear the motors running inside his suit. It made him very strong. He pushed her through the opening onto the grass and ran towards the pod.

Stay tuned for more:

Slusho/Cloverfield

For those of you interested in Cloverfield. Here is a movie from a viral website. It is crazy silly.

Part 3: Sam and Emma Defenders of Earth

Make sure to read part one and two first:

They walked along well lit hallways. The floor rose and fell and the hallways bore left and right as if they were burrowed into the ground. Every few meters they passed a shaft of light from the surface. The walls were paneled in a rich wood with brass rails running down each corridor they passed. Many of the doors had copper plates with figures on them.
Sam ran his fingers over the bumps and textures as they passed.

Soon the hallway opened into a large room.

"You could play basketball in here!" Sam yelled. His echo returned back from the other wall.

"Cool!" says Sam.

"Cool!" says echo.

"Ha!" Sam laughs.

"Ha!" echo laughs also.

An enormous table is set on hte right side of the large room. Before the table is a large wooden floor.

The Ambassador beckons then to the table, and as they are seated several spiders begin to enter the room. Some are carrying large trays and others are draped in scarves and jewels.
As the trays are being set on the table, the costumed spiders begin to dance. Emma is amazed at how graceful the huge insects are, and how complex their dance is. She steps to the edge of the dance floor and starts rocking to the music. Soon a spider stops in front of her and bows low, tapping the floor.

Emma begins tapping the same rythym. The spider leads her in to the dance floor. Emma twirls and jumps and pirouettes, til she is full of giggles.

When the music stops, all the spiders begin tapping their approval. The leader of the spider dance troupe puts a hairy arm on her shoulder and proclaims, "Who knew such beautiful dancing could be done on only two legs? I shall have to create a dance in your honor.".

Emma smiled and blushed. She thanked the dancers and the Ambassador.
As she sat down and looked at Sam she realized he had a six inch grub hanging out of his mouth. Stunned, she looked at the table. It was crawling with worms, grubs, larvae and slime covered eggs.

Speechless she turned to Sam who said, "The eyes are a little bitter, but the rest is like beef flavored marshmallows."

Emma's stomach knotted it self up tightly. She gulped loudly and reminded Sam not to talk with his mouth full.

"I'm just so excited. Permission to see what a bug tastes like. Awesome!"

Sam began swatting and gorging on some large ants while stabbing up red and orange caterpillars with his free hand.

Emma was sure she was as green as the slime covered eggs. She knew though, that she represented Earth and must be as gracious a guest as she could be. She picked out some critters that looked like purple shrimp and was glad to find that they were just like tapioca inside. She was even more glad to see that no one else was eating the heads either.

While Sam ate everything he could catch, and stuck a few slow movers in his pockets, Emma managed to fill up on enough non-wiggly items, that did not stare at her, to be almost full. She was happy that she had a little room left when dessert arrived. It was cold and sweet like ice-cream, but it was blue, and clear like honey. Sheee-Sheee called it 'moon water'.

When the feast was over Sam pushed his plates away and crawled up on the table to lay down. His belly stood in the air and was hardly contained under his little suit of armor. Click-click-tock began to tickle him and after falling to the floor laughing they chased each other around the room and off down the hall.

Stay tuned for more...

Part 2:Sam and Emma, Defenders of Earth

     The spiders were staring at Sam and Emma, mandibles clicking. Finally Sam lowered his gun and said, "I aint afraid of spiders. Besides they're wearing ties."

     Emma tried to  look past all those glassy black eyes. Sam was right. The one in front had a country tie like Colonel Sanders. They all had something around their necks. The one on the right of the lead spider was smaller than the others and had rose colored hairs on the joints of her legs. Emma supposed this was a 'her', because she had a beautiful pink and tan scarf. The spider to the left had a patch of orange ruffles from his neck to the back of his abdomen.

      The lead spider raised a front leg and squeezed the silver clasp of his bolo tie. A blue light appeared on the front and in perfect English, she heard, "Hello and welcome to Rula Vala III. I am Ambassador Sheee-Sheee." The Ambassador said his name in two hisses; "Sheee-Sheee".

     The Ambassador waved three of his legs toward the girl spider on his right, "This is my daughter 'click-click-tock'.

     Sam imitated her name by tapping his little gauntlet against the breast plate of his armor. The girl made a giggly kind of wheezing noise. Sam raised the face plate on his helmet and smiled.

     The spider with orange ruffles handed the Ambassador a grape sized crystal. When the Ambassador held it in front of Sam and Emma, they could see a small lizard frozen inside the green rock.

     "This is a dragon seed. Mind where you plant him and you mustn't water it to much; they are desert creatures."

     Sam reached first and gaped at the gift, "Wow!".

     Emma felt very self conscious about her small clay swan. She considered not giving it to the Matawans. She knew that it would be bad manners not to give a gift in return, so she held the swan out to the Ambassador.

     Emma could not contain a fearful grimace, as two huge spider legs with bristles, reached down and took the small figurine.

     Ambassador Sheee-Sheee turned it left and right and asked if it was a statue of an Earth creature.

     Emma, embarrassed, said, "Yes, it is a swan. I made it this afternoon."

     The Ambassador and his daughter gasped. "You made this yourself, just for us? Thank you so much, Emma of Earth. We are humbled that you would give of yourself in this way." Click-click-tock began prancing on all eight legs. Her father handed the swan to her and she began tracing the smooth curves of it's wings.

     Sam reached into his back pack to pull out a great big bag of cotton candy. He tore off a fistful and held it in front of the Ambassador.

     "I didn't make this, but its my favorite carnival candy to eat.

     The Ambassador leaned forward and delicately took the little cloud of sugar between his great mandibles.

     "This is delicious, Sam of Earth. It is as sweet as nectar, but looks like our webs. Thank you."

     "Your welcome. I can make loads more." and Sam handed some to click-click-tock.

     Sam and Emma followed the Ambassador below ground.

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Sam and Emma; Defenders of Earth

"Are we there yet?" 10 year old Emma asked the computer.

"No." said the computer flatly.

This answer always irritated Emma. She raised her voice, "I mean, wheeeen are we going to get there?"

"We will arrive at the Matawan colony on Ruta Vala III at 4 o'clock twenty-three minutes and thirty-nine seconds." Responded the computer.

Sam chimed in from the galley, " So lets eat!"

Emma crossed the bridge into the galley. There was room enough for eight at the table, but Sam and his lunch occupied three places on the end. He could eat like an adult, even though he was six.

Sam had gotten into the crackers and cheese they had brought. He also had been trying to make Earth style food with the 'Electric Cook' on this alien ship.

It could reproduce peanut butter and jam, however it couldn't make bread. The "Food Box" as Sam called it, would weave coasters out of a kind of fiber that tasted like wheat bread and was as dry and brittle as instant noodles. This never bothered Sam. Emma asked the 'Food Box' for a hotdog with ketchup, "No bun."

Emma and Sam loved going places on the ship. Despite the odd food, the ship never failed to carry them somewhere exciting.

Today they were going to visit the Matawans. The computer new very little about this alien race. They never allowed outsiders to their world. Now the Matawans had begun colonizing nearby worlds and asking to meet their neighbors.

Emma enjoyed making friends from many different planets. Some had become close and Emma wrote to them often.

Sam was happiest on the go. He didn't seem to care where they were headed; he wanted to see it.

Emma liked to bring gifts when she visited new aliens, but very little was known about the Matawans, so it was difficult to pick out something she knew they would like.

"Give 'em candy." Sam said, "Everyone likes candy."

"Yeah, but what if they don't have any mouths?" Emma countered.

"Well, get them a candy they can slurp in case they have proboskis." Sam said slurping.

Emma corrected, "You mean, proboscis."

"Not if it's more than one." said Sam.

Emma gave a heavy sigh. Sam could help and tease at the same time.

Since Matawans might live on sunlight instead of marshmallows; Emma decided to make some art.

Sam was teasing again, but he was right when he said she should make something bumpy, "In case they're color blind."

In no time at all she had made a swan out of clay and painted it.

Sam decided to bring a gift as well. He was going to bring cotton candy. "If they have proboskis we'll just get it wet. "He explained.

Soon the ship was in orbit. As always the computer checked the air to  make sure they could breathe and then arranged a pod to drop Sam and Emma to the surface. The pods were small. All they did was go up or down, like an elevator. There were four seats in the pod with belts and passengers rode back to back facing out through the windows.

Emma could barely keep Sam in his belt, he loved looking over the edge as they went down.

Ruta Vala III was emerald green from space and as Sam and Emma descended they expected to see lush dense jungle hills or forest mountains. Instead the horizon was just as straight and green when they landed as when they left the ship. They stepped out of the pod onto beautiful green grass. It looked like a soccer field for as far as they could see. All the way to the clouds, in fact. The sun stood high in the sky and shone brightly.

This spot is where they were to meet the Matawans; how come there were no buildings?

Sam ran into the pod and put on a set of armor the ship had made him. He handed Emma a walkie-talkie and checked the gummyballs in his gun. The gummyballs did not hurt. When you get hit with one it becomes sticky and spongy like bread dough. They could stick a grown up to the ground.

Emma admonished, "Put that away Sam, we were invited."

"Yeah, for dinner. Maybe were the dinner!" Sam retorted.

Suddenly the ground on their right peeled back revealing a swarm of spiders. Not house spiders, not tarantula size spiders, but man size spiders. Emma and Sam were surrounded.

"Eeeeek!" Emma shouted. "Sam shoot them!"

Sam had his gummyball gun raised, but he didn't move a muscle. The spiders were staring at Sam and Emma, mandibles clicking.

--Stay tuned for the next chapter--