Where Was It Now?

Don't forgetta Mezzetta

2009-03-05T04:18:00.000-08:00

Recently my wife and I were watching Unwrapped on the food network. Papa John's founder was discussing a popular ingredient; the Peperoncini. Soon after introduction, Papa John's was using %40 percent of the world's Peperoncini's and caused a shortage.

We bought a jar of Mezzetta Greek Golden Peperoncin's and they are fantastic. The flavor is sweeter and more complex than a regular Jalapeño and it brings just the right amount of heat.

You can't go wrong throwing these on a Pizza, however I have put them on bologna sandwiches, quesadillas and more.

Honestly, anything that could use hot sauce or a satisfying pickle like crunch will benefit from Peperoncini's.

If you have ever been to the Olive Garden, the pepper that comes with the all you can eat salad is a similar Italian sweet pepper.

They are cheap at Costco, so go buy some.

Salmon

2009-03-04T19:48:00.000-08:00

The following is a guest post by my daughter Emma. She is a 1st grader.

hi my name is Emma, Woold you like to learn abot Salmon?.
Salmon Start as eggs. they live in Oceans, rivvers and Streems.
there are menny Kinds of Salmon. coho, steelhead, chinook, pink, Sockeye, chum and atlatic.
When they are baby's they eat larva and water insects.
when they fully gron they eat fish.
I can help Salmon by putting up sing's.
I love Salmon do you?.

Emma sings Karaoke

2008-08-22T12:34:00.000-07:00

Yes my daughter is awesome!

Your pet sucks!

2008-03-31T10:34:00.000-07:00

I bet your dog doesn't look both ways before riding his motorcycle on the street.

Is it just me or does it seem that things are more fun in Asian countries.

Next time an animal activist starts yammering; just tell them that your monkey is Taiwanese and that's just how he rolls, Byatch!

Jack's Big Bun

2008-03-27T08:36:00.000-07:00

I just posted a comment about the new Sonic Drive-in that is going to be built in my home town.

Here is a quote from their post; what follows is my comment.

Otherwise, if the rumor about the impending Sonic is true (and thusfar it appears to be just that, a rumor), I confess to feeling somewhat ambivalent about it. On one hand, fast-food tends to be singularly non-nutritious. On the other hand, there’s a certain nostalgic appeal to a genuine Drive-In, where, according to one article I read on the Web, they even throw in the occasional “courtesy tray” visit, e.g., a carhop stops by your car, checking on you, bearing extra napkins, etc.

Comment:

No need for a nouveau-nostalgic drive in at that location. Grant's "drive-in" has been at that location for decades. Before that it was Jack's Big Bun, Where my mother worked as a car hop in high school. I wont divulge my mother's age, but lets just say they did not have any Star Wars kids meals.

I have very fond memories of going to Grant's as a kid and young adult. The owner Russ, would call all the young guys 'Tiger' and tell a couple of jokes or share some old puns. I think he got a real kick the first time he saw me bring in a girl for lunch.

It is a shame that when Russ was ready to retire there was no room in peoples minds for a re-energized Grant's drive in. I also mourn the passing of a place where young adults and teenagers can feel at home, being replaced by a food factory where they can toil away grinding out cheap fast food.

Real estate developers and city council members forget that Ferndale exists because people moved away from big cities. I hoped that some day when I retired I could go back to quite little Ferndale. I think I am already to late.

Missed Connection

2008-02-06T11:35:00.000-08:00

No joke. I just read this on Craigslist/Portland. WTF!

To the girl who ran into my car door on her bike - m4w - 49

Reply to: pers-563591696@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-02-05, 7:10AM PST

As you peddled away crying, I realized that I had over reacted. I was having a bad day and had just spent a lot of money on a new paint job, but pulling a gun on you was out of line. I'd like to make a formal apology in person. Over a bottle of wine and/or dinner, perhaps?

Let's hope she doesn't spill any of that wine on his carpet.

I'm feeling lucky. Find Chuck Norris

2008-02-04T12:51:00.000-08:00

Chuck Norris

I can't resist this one.

If you go to Google and type in find Chuck Norris and hit the I'm feeling lucky button; you are in for a small treat.

I am impressed by Arran's using Google's crawlers for a joke.

Props!

Medieval Tech Support

2008-02-04T11:07:00.000-08:00

.....The Medieval Tech Support video made the rounds awhile back. However I was sitting quietly reading a book the other day, when the memory of it hit me after almost a full year; I laughed all over again.

.....For anyone who has done Information Technology work, or been helpful to a neophyte, you will understand this scenario.

.....Lovingly posted at www.flixxy.com

Yes, we can. Barak Obama

2008-02-04T08:42:00.000-08:00

. This is a video that appeared just a couple of days ago on YouTube. It has a host of stars who have made a song out of a Barak Obama speech; and guess what, it was not done for laughs.
. If Barak Obama is half the man his speeches make him out to be, I am very excited about the prospect of his presidency. His words make me hope, and the current president has not given me much cause to do that.
. I know there are folks out there who will continue to be taken advantage of by the Republicans because they side with some hot button issues with conservatives. If you think that Republicans really care about young unwed mothers, stimulating the economy, lowering taxes and keeping jobs in America, then where have you been the last 8 years?
. Vote for your president by how he will lead the nation and if you disagree with an issue or two, do your civic duty and, lead locally.
. Like Obama says, We are not as divided as our politics suggest. We can heal this nation. We can repair this world.

Singing Ringing Tree

2008-01-30T10:00:00.000-08:00

Designed by Mike Tonkin and Anna Liu, I love the sounds that this sculpture makes. It reminds me of the first Alien movie or 2001 a Space Odyssey. This is one of four sculptures commissioned in East Lancashire, England; this one near Burnley.

Welcome to Free Geek

2008-01-16T16:38:00.001-08:00

This is a great non-profit in Portland Oregon. I am volunteering there in a couple of weekends. Watch the video to know the details. The basic idea is; take in used computers and recycle or re-purpose them. Re-purposing them means that members of the community that don't have a computer, can volunteer some time and earn a machine, as well as, be taught how to use it.

They also share in the open-source philosophy so all of the machines are loaded with Ubuntu.

See their site at www.freegeek.org and if you are in Portland go check out the Thrift store or volunteer.

Head First

2008-01-08T16:50:00.000-08:00

As you may have noticed the posts have been few the last week. I recently purchased a book called Head First HTML With CSS & XHTML and have thrown myself into it during my spare time.

The Head First series from O'Reilly is fantastic. The guide is easy to use and chock full of great exercises. There are also resources online to download.

If you are new to HTML I would suggest this book and (if you're on a MAC)TextWrangler is a great text editor. It colors your code automatically so it is easier to see what you are doing and if you made a mistake.

I am going to continue working with this book for the next month or so, but I will try to maintain as many posts here as I can. Who knows, maybe I'll even tweak the code on my Blog.

Wired's Top 10 gadget ads of 2007

2007-12-31T14:39:00.000-08:00

I love this ad. You can see the other ads that made the top ten at Wired's "The 10 Best Gadget Ads of 2007". Check 'em out.

Part 11: Sam and Emma Defenders of Earth

2007-12-29T22:01:00.000-08:00

Be sure to read parts 1-10 first.

"Emma, it's Sam, I see you on my radar."

Emma looked at the radar square in the corner of her helmet display. It was filled with red dots and one green dot. When Sam spoke again the dot pulsed brighter.

"I climbed in a window on the tower." Sam said.

"Your on the other side of the guards?" Emma asked.

"Yep. I have my gummyball gun, but I can't sneak up on them.

Emma had an idea. "I'll yell at them and when they turn this way, you blast 'em."

"OK" Sam agreed.

Emma counted down, "On three. One, two, Three!"

Emma jumped around the corner and yelled. She could feel her chest plate vibrating and her voice boomed inside the vestibule. The guards were startled and turned to see. As they lifted crossbows, maces and swords, a blizzard of gummyballs blew down the stairs. Some had time to struggle, others were caught where they stood. Their protective armor turned to a prison.

Emma could hear Sam laughing on the radio as he peaked around the corner and waved her up the stairs. The stone stairwell circled around the inside of the tower ten stories. They were nearly at the top when Sam stopped and backed into Emma. A hail of crossbow bolts clattered against the wall ahead of them.

Sam yelled, "Holy crap he's big!"

Emma could feel the stairs tremble as something came toward them. Sam sent video from his helmet to the corner of Emma's faceplate. When he jumped around the corner again she could see a huge man filling the stairwell. Sam plastered the giant and the stirwell with gummyballs. Soon there was a wall of hardened foam with the giant stuck inside. Emma came up next to Sam and admired his handiwork.

"Wow!" She said as she clapped Sam on the back.

Sam showed her triple zeros on his gun. "That took all my ammo."

Emma soon realized they had a problem; how to get farther up the stairs. Sam had already tried to climb the outside and only made it three floors. Above the giant was a hole in the new wall.

"If we could make that hole bigger we could climb over." Sam suggested.

Emma made a step with her hands and Sam climbed to her shoulders. Standing on her shoulders he began knocking chunks of the material out. He then crawled up onto the giants head and helped Emma up over the wall. They could hear the guards downstairs freeing each other as they hopped down on the other side.

Sam and Emma now stood before the tower door.

Stay tuned for more.

Suddenly I hear

2007-12-29T21:00:00.000-08:00

Suddenly I hear
A knocking at the door,
Together with the sounds of drunken singing.
I hardly know what I am doing.
Pushing my glass aside,
I rush to welcome my guest.
We share the relaxation
Of poetic wildness,
So that our craving for wine
Gives us special intimacy.

Darkness

2007-12-29T20:58:00.000-08:00

Darkness,
Dimly lit streets,
A Cool Breeze arches over the city.
Soft music threads it's way through the alleyways.
This is my city. I protect it. I can't protect it all the time. I must work during the day, but at night, I take to the rooftops and shadows.
Watching, lurking.
The pages of myth and legend tell the tale. Hercules, Robin Hood, Francois Villon, Don Quixote. All of them protecting the innocent and fighting the tyranny of evil men.
I too, keep watch.
There are those that deserve vengeance.
Striking quietly.
I protect another person.
I do not seek thanks, or fame, or fortune.
Just smiles and laughter, and peace of mind.
People used to laugh and smile and feel safe, But things change.
You must be ever vigil.
I failed to protect someone once. It wont happen again.
There, on the street. A girl has left a bar. Walking, walking.
One of the bums asks her for change. I know he is harmless.
The girl gives him some change and a smile, and continues.
She must have driven to the city to drink and dance.
Down a fire escape, through an alley, I follow.
I pass a prostitute at work. Animal noises, halting breaths.
I stop for a moment to ponder the two. One scared and excited, the other cold and constant.
Who should be protected?
Neither.
I move on.
I see a man in a doorway across the street.
Darkness shrouds him.
He leans against the glass.
The girl is approaching.
I scour the opening with my eyes.
Is he just a vagrant, who has found a place to rest?.
He has no packs.
Maybe he has just gotten high; guilt driving him into dark solitude.
He hears the girl coming. He straightens.
I sense he is poised to pounce.
The girl walks on.
Closer.
I think he has something in his hand.
She is nearing the opening.
I see a glint of light.
She Doesn't see him there.
Waiting.
The man plucks her from the street.
She can't scream.
I break from my place in safety.
Running now across the street.
He is tearing the clothes from the girl.
I hurry on.
He is touching her trembling body.
Hand searching for stolen pleasures.
I land on the sidewalk.
Startled, the man falls forward, body pressing against the naked form.
He is lulled by the soft warm flesh. Suddenly wishing it didn't have to be like this.
I attack.
I snap him to his feet.
Pressing his head through the glass,
I take the knife from his hands.
The girl has backed into the corner.
She tries to cover herself with the tatters of her clothes.
He swings back with his fist.
Grabbing his arm I twist on my feet. Throwing him to the sidewalk.
He writhes in pain.
I press the knife deep into his back.
Air and blood spray from the hole in his lung.
Now I must be human again.
I offer the girl my coat.
Helping her to her feet.
She holds me tightly.
I carry her away from the dyeing man.
I do not enjoy killing, But it is my job.
I have done my job.

Baby Names

2007-12-29T20:11:00.000-08:00

I found a list of baby names I was compiling when my wife got pregnant a couple of years back. Enjoy.

To see what the most popular baby names were for any decade in US history, check out the Social Security website.

Girls

Penelope
Amelia
Veronica
Vivian
Lydia-F
Trinity-B
Sharon-F
Etta-F
Kimberly-F
Chloe
Daphne
Isabella
Maya
Pam-F

Boys

Jacob-F
Logan
Cosmo-TV
Atom
Casper-F
Gene-F
Timothy-FB
Paul-B
Max
Nelson
Kirk-TV
Luke-M
Stone
Marshall
Xavier
Vince
Ray
Sam
Otto
Luther
Alexander
Warren
Felix
Elwood
Mister
Buster
Lucien
Leopold
Chaz
Lucius
Ike
Avery
Zack
Major
Loyal
Duke
Butch
Rod
Hudson

Hydro Train

2007-12-29T06:28:00.001-08:00

Ha! My wife told me about this video and I had to post it. Make sure your kids do their homework.

Hydro car

2007-12-29T06:26:00.001-08:00

A great commercial. I hope it inspires many kids.

Part 10: Sam and Emma Defenders of Earth

2007-12-25T21:38:00.000-08:00

Be sure to read parts 1-9 first.

The computer greeted Sam and Emma as they arrived. They walked down to the lab where Sam and the computer had made his suit of armor.

"Computer, we are going to make a suit of armor for my sister. I also want to make a copy of this radar module, so we can have one in each suit."

The computer cheerfully replied, "I can help you accomplish those goals."

"Good. Emma's suit should be bullet proof like mine and have strength motors."

Sam turned to explain, "It's like having way big muscles."

The computer paused and made an audible crackle as it measured Emma with lasers and calculated dimensions. Finally, "I will begin immediately. The suit will be ready in two hours. Until it is finished I can begin teaching Emma the controls."

"Don't forget the radar and the radio." Sam said.

"Yes." said the computer.

While the ship made Emma's real suit it created hologram versions for Sam and her to train in. The hologram room was a lot of fun. Sam played his holo-games of capture the flag. car racing and epic battles. Emma preferred surroundings that were a little more serene; enchanted castles, lavish tea parties or mermaid beach.

As they walked into the room they found one of Emma's castles. Things looked different though. The ship's computer had created a challenge for them.

Sam saw it right away, "We need to get into the castle I bet."

The computer explained the suit to Emma as she put it on. When she was ready they got their mission.

"Each of you must find your own way into the castle and retrieve the kings scepter from the tower."

The castle had a great wall surrounded by a moat.

"You'll never beat me!" Sam yelled as he leapt across the moat.

Emma could not believe her eyes. The suit allowed Sam to jump the 10ft moat in one bound. On the other side was the castle wall. Sam stuck his arm through a narrow opening in the wall meant for archers. He then climbed up the wall using the cracks and seams.

Emma knew her suit could make the jump but she wasn't sure she wanted to climb the wall, it was very high. She would run and look for another way in.

Emma was just about to go around the first corner when she heard a scream She turned and saw something fall from the wall. As she squinted to see, the suit magnified the view through her faceplate. It was a castle guard. He splashed into the moat and started yelling for the other guards. Sam disappeared over the wall as the entire castle came alive with guards.

Arrows came whizzing over her head. She ducked and ran towards the main entrance. Emma could still hear a whistling noise. It was the wind rushing past as she ran. She rounded the bend to go across the bridge into the castle, but was moving to fast. She could see the drawbridge being raised just before she slid off into the moat.

Emma struggled to swim but the suit was too heavy. She held her breath as long as she could but was unable to reach the surface. The mud came up to meet her. She was about to scream when her radio came on. The computers voice instructed, "If you would like to engage the fins you may engage them with the voice command 'engage fins.'.

Emma laughed, she didn't know the suit was waterproof. She decided to walk. The moat wasn't very deep and she thought she might find a way in. She could see a few arrows floating on the surface as she walked. Soon a dark opening loomed ahead. She peered into the blackness. All that was visible were the readouts on her faceplate. A group of bubbles had 85 minutes next to it. that must be air. Next to that was a lightning bolt. Suit power was 96%. there was also a circle. Emma stared at it for a second and it suddenly filled in as a set of lights came on. Her helmet had high powered flashlights.

"Headlights!" Emma giggled.

The suit was amazing The motors whirred to life as she moved. Even though she was under water with 60lbs. of armor, she felt as if she were walking at a normal pace. After a few meters the ground sloped up. Soon her head was above the water. A torch was flickering on the other side of a grate up ahead.

Emma knew she wouldn't fit through the bars wearing the suit. She grabbed the bars with her gauntlets and pulled them apart. They bent, but not enough to get through. She remembered how fast she ran outside and decided to use her new legs to help. Placing her hands on the grate and then a foot on either side she gave the mightiest grunt that she could. The bars began to bend and then the stones around the grate crumbled and fell. Now she was in the castle.

Staring at the circle again, Emma made her lights go out. She could sneak much better that way. She was in a corridor lit by torches. She made her way up to the second floor without seeing any guards. they must be looking for Sam, she thought.

After looking out a window to get her bearings she found the stairs to the tower. They were surrounded by armed guards. Emma wasn't sure what to do. Then she heard a voice.

Stay tuned for more.

Really beautiful snowflake movies

2007-12-24T13:34:00.001-08:00

Check out these beautiful snowflake movies from Caltech.

Water molecules and cold are awesome.

Reward for dog: Cash

2007-12-24T10:25:00.001-08:00

This is Ruffy. He has been a wonderful dog. I have had him almost 30 years. Now my daughter plays with him and loves him just as much as I ever did.

There is something in his subtle expression and lanky limbs that imbues him with more character than any other toy I have owned.

I remember him dancing when I was happy, hugging when I was sad and shaking his head when I was mad.

I watched my daughter rap his arms around her neck and give him a piggy back ride the other day and was reeled way back to 1983, when I used to put Ruffy on my back and fly around the house with his arms between my shoulders and my jaw.

Somewhere out there are dogs just like this one. My mom says ours was found in Lynden Washington in 1977 0r '78. I am offering a reward of $100 dollars to anyone that can find another one of these plush brown dogs, like the one pictured and will allow me to tell its story.
I would love to see pictures of Ruffy's brothers and sisters with their owners.

Pass this post to others and email friends.
Thanks,
Ray Randell
Http://wherewasitnow.blogspot.com
claytonrayrandell@gmail.com

Sci-Fi quiz. They asked me if I speak Klingon. I said, "It's Klingonese Pa'Tak"

2007-12-23T23:05:00.000-08:00

	I received 70 credits on The Sci Fi Sounds Quiz How much of a Sci-Fi geek are you?
Take the Sci-Fi Movie Quiz canon s5 is

Part 9: Sam and Emma Defenders of Earth

2007-12-23T21:49:00.000-08:00

Be sure to read parts 1-8

"I was born on this world. I and my parents, my brother and sister lived in a city by the sea. Maybe 2 million Tumel lived there."

The pad zoomed into the planed until Emma and Sam could see the tall buildings and streets of a modern city.

"The Tumel were a peaceful race. We had given up waring with ourselves and our neighbors centuries ago. Then the lizards came."

The hologram of the city darkened. The skies grew stormy and rained fire.

Pachra continued, "All over our world the beasts attacked and consumed the people. Even pets and livestock."

The holograms shifted. Each new scene a fresh disaster. Shadows belched fire and swooped down upon people in the streets and animals in the fields.

"Our people made weapons and trained armies, the Tumel held them at bay for a year, but we were running out of resources. My parents were killed. My siblings and I were carried away by a freighter with other refugees."

Pachra looked directly at Sam. " I was little, like you boy."

The hologram showed a great beast lying slain in the street with the Tumel cheering.

"My people began to defeat them; we had hope. Then Deep Nest came."

The clouds above the cheering people were pushed aside as a great ship came into view. It was dark and dirty. It had no real shape, like an asteroid. There were windows and doors across the surface; at every conceivable angle. A great beam of light hit the ground and swung towards the crowd. The hologram was washed with light and when it cleared Emma and Sam could see the whole world again. Now the world was dark and smoky. A dozen of the ships moved from city to city scorching the ground. The hologram faded away.

"They let the monsters at us until we were weak and the swooped in for the kill. those that escaped the burning of the cities, were hunted by mechanical tanks. Tanks with wight legs driven by spiders. No picture was ever taken, but when my grandson Jaryk told me about the aliens you met, my blood ran cold. I knew I had to come. Deep Nest took our world and mined it for everything of value. They took slaves. When they had what they wanted the vile creatures left."

Emma had been crying, now she began to sob. She took the old man's hand.

"I am so sorry." She said.

Pachra patted Emma's head.

"Young one, I cried all my tears long ago. It has been 150 years since they left. The Tumel are now nomads and in our travels we have seen other worlds that suffered the same fate. Our world was the last. Deep Nest has not shown itself in all that time, but I fear that time has past."

Sam smashed his little fist on the table.

"We can't let them do that again!"

Emma was startled. "What can we do? We can't fight. We don't even know where their home world is."

Sam reached into his pocket and pulled out a stone. When Pachra saw the dragon in the store he set back from the table.

Sam said, "They gave us this. Now that I see how big they get, I'm glad I didn't plant it. Ambassador Sheee-Sheee said they were from a desert."

Pachra looked closer at the stone. "Is it an Egg?"

Sam set it on the table. "It's supposed to be a seed."

Pachra eyed the rock warily. "Be careful with that. In the mean time Jaryk and I will try to find out more about where this desert is."

Emma gave Pachra a hug. The alien did not seem to know what to do with a hug but he smiled for the first time since they had met.

Sam and Emma boarded the pod. Sam closed the dragon seed in a locker and got strapped in. Emma got her seat belt on. Just as Sam was about to hit the control to go home Emma stopped his hand.

"Let's go to the ship first." Emma said.
"Why?" Sam asked.
"I think the ship should make me some armor"

Stay tuned for more.

The Golden Ticket

2007-12-20T12:50:00.000-08:00

What luck. I have been dreaming of going to the MacWorld Expo in San Francisco for years. I never had the money for a ticket, but this year I was quick on the draw for one of a hundred passes being given out by MicroSpot UK. Woot!

I just need to get a couple of days off work, find a place to stay, get money for gas, drive down and; did I mention that the expo is on the 18th of next month?

I am so excited, the exhibit list has a booth from every tech company I have ever wanted to work, for including Google.

I will definitely take pictures and I should be able to Blog from inside the Moscone Center at the Microsoft Blogger Lounge. Schwing!

G-d I am a Geek!

Asimo - The great Robot Exhibition, Japan 2007

2007-12-20T08:42:00.001-08:00

uncanny valley n. Feelings of unease, fear, or revulsion created by a robot or robotic device that appears to be, but is not quite, human-like.

robot assembly line

2007-12-20T08:35:00.001-08:00

South Park was right. "They took our jobs!!"
Can you work 23 hours a day?

Saudia Arabia and America since 1932; in four minutes

2007-12-15T09:10:00.000-08:00

This is from the beginning of 'The Kingdom'. From Neatorama.

PSA

2007-12-13T13:43:00.001-08:00

Talk to your kids today, before it's to late.

Part 8: Sam and Emma Defenders of Earth

2007-12-12T13:02:00.000-08:00

Be sure to read parts 1-7 first.

When the pod was in position and the airlocks had corrected the air pressure, the doors connecting both ships opened. Emma was used to seeing full grown aliens but Jaryk was a brute. All of Sam's forearm disappeared into Jaryk's fist when they shook hands. Jaryk had to stoop down on one knee to enter the pod and introduce himself to Emma with a kiss on her hand. His whiskers were like bristles and he had short tusks on either side of his mouth. He had long pointy bat ears; the right one was missing about two inches.

Emma had only seen Jaryk on video and thought his skin was green. In person, under the light of the pod she could see he was a very light purple. As she looked past him she could see that the illumination on his ship was green and dim.

As her eyes became accustomed to the dark, she saw the other person with Jaryk. Emma was sure he was the same species as Jaryk, but he looked very old and frail. His back was hunched up almost as high as his ears drooped down.

Jaryk led Emma and Sam forward to meet the old man. "This is Pachra, my grandfather."

Emma bowed slightly. Pachra Shook Sam and Emma's hands. Emma noticed his eyes were sharp but filled with sadness.

As they walked through the cargo hold of the ship Pachra's steps were mechanical and identical in length. He had braces and motors controlling his legs roboticly. The old man's robot legs carried him in the direction that he leaned toward.

Sam was pulling a cart behind him and as they entered the main room of the ship he pushed it up onto the table. Once everyone was seated Sam pulled out the peanut butter, coffee and M&M's. Jaryk set the radar module for Sam's suit on the table. Sam then produced a shoe box with holes in the side. The box disappeared as Jaryk placed his hand over it and slid it to his side of the table. When he saw there were two kittens inside instead of one he slapped his hand on his chest. Emma could see Jaryk's skin turn a deeper purple and his eyes began to sparkle.

"Ha, Earther, you make the deal brighter than we agreed. I am sure you will ask me for a favor someday, and you just might have it."

Sam laughed, "I didn't want one to get lonely so now you have a pair. I am glad you like them, and I might need a favor. Someday."

Jaryk's look became a little more serious, "Don't we all? Some days. As for today my Pachra carries the second part of our deal. I have heard the tale so I will go and stow my goods."

Jaryk rubbed the kittens bellies with one of his great fingers and made little noises and baby squeaks as he walked away.

Pachra placed a tablet on the table. It was the size of a small book. He waved his gnarled hand over the tablet and a soft glow appeared above it. To Emma it looked as though a mist hung over the pad. The fog began to darken and solidify. A beautiful blue-green orb coalesced and began to turn lazily. Sam and Emma leaned closer. The little planet had land and puffy white clouds like Earth. As the land turned toward the night side, little lights appeared. Cities and towns, thought Emma, so like Earth.

Pachra sighed and began his story.

Stay tuned for more.

Barack OBollywood

2007-12-12T10:12:00.001-08:00

I am on a roll today. This video is nearly as weird as Kokiriki Busho.

You shouldn't watch the video in fact, it may produce flashbacks or seizures but it is well made and entertaining all the same.

Featured prominently is the Best 'Man' running for president. Barack Obama.

kokiriko bushi

2007-12-12T10:05:00.001-08:00

Weird but very catchy. NSFW(animated nudes)

From Pink Tentacle: Omodaka’s 21st-century disco version of Kokiriko Bushi — an ancient folk song that Gokayama (Toyama prefecture) villagers used to perform for the local Shinto deities — combines synthesized vocals with a Stevie Wonder-ish bassline and ’80s video game chiptune sounds, and the wonderfully quirky and surreal video (animated by Teppei Maki) features a fragile skeleton dancer that shares the floor with lots of disembodied hands and floating eyeball-headed ladies. [Video]

Part 7: Sam and Emma Defenders of Earth

2007-12-11T10:15:00.000-08:00

Be sure to read parts 1-6 first.

The following day Sam and Emma were preparing to meet Jaryk, when Harold responded to Emma's email. He sent only an image. It was a painting of a large spider. It held a star in each of its eight legs. Around it's neck hung a web sack holding dozens of worlds. Below the spider were characters Emma could not read.

Sam was surprised when he saw it. "Hey! I saw that on one of the doors on Rula Vala III."

"Hmmm..." Emma mused out loud. " I wonder what was behind that door."

Sam snapped his fingers. "It will have to wait Emma. Jaryk wont like it if we are late."

Sam and Emma climbed aboard the pod to fly to Jaryk's ship. Emma remembered the kitten.

"Sam, we forgot the kitten." she said.

"Don't worry. They are on the pod already."

Emma raised an eyebrow at Sam. "What do you mean, 'They'?" she questioned.

Sam kept looking out the pod's computer screen. "I didn't want him to get lonely so I got a girl kitten also."

"A boy and a girl? Do you realize how many cats they will have in a year?" Emma said.

"Gee, your right. Who will supply them with all the tuna and fuzzy balls they are going to need?" Sam snickered.

Emma had no words. Sam was too smart for his own good.

Sam new Emma was troubled and offered, "Jaryk will probably trade one of them away. They all have mice remember?"

"Where did you get two kittens anyway? Emma asked.

Sam rolled his eyes. "Craigslist, duh."

Emma laughed. Sam had always been a little man. Even when he was two, he was never afraid to be by himself. he was always first to touch something wiggly. He was always first to run through a door or crash through the bushes. Now here he was trading goods with space pirates. What an amazing year they've had.

The pod rumbled into orbit. Jaryk's ship did not show on the pods docking radar.

Emma leaned against the window and asked, "Where is he?"

Sam looked out of the windows and smiled. "He's there." he said. "Jaryk is good at hide and seek."

Emma saw a shadow pass over the window and when she looked up she saw Jaryk's ship. It looked dangerous and fast. There were burns and cracks and little craters on it's sides. As it slid over the pod Emma could see a tentacled beast painted on the craft's belly. The beast was dark green on the black hull, except for the eyes. The eyes were blood red and fierce.

Emma looked at the pods docking radar. No ship was detected.

"How does he do that?" she asked.

Sam only shrugged.

Jaryk's ship sank to their level. Two robotic arms sprang from their hiding places on the nose of the vessel and seized the pod. As they were drawn towards the pirate ship, Emma could see Jaryk standing in the forward air-lock. He wasn't alone.

Stay tuned for more.

Six word stories

2007-12-09T15:15:00.000-08:00

From Wired Magazine:

The baby’s blood type? Human, mostly.
Orson Scott Card

Wired magazine asked a group of science fiction writers to send in six word stories. The one above is my favorite, however they list over 60 others, from Frank Miller, William Shatner, Stan Lee, Joss Whedon and many more.

Wired says:

We'll be brief: Hemingway once wrote a story in just six words ("For sale: baby shoes, never worn.") and is said to have called it his best work. So we asked sci-fi, fantasy, and horror writers from the realms of books, TV, movies, and games to take a shot themselves.

Two minutes from the past.

2007-12-09T14:57:00.000-08:00

Outside of Gloucester, 1784.

Dr. Claveaux: Time does not exist.
Charles: Time doesn't exist? But you have a time machine.
Dr. Claveaux: Things do not move through time, they exist in places, in time. Take that house for instance. If that same house were at the other end of the lane, and I were to burn this one down; what happens to the other house?
Charles: Ah, nothing.
Dr. Claveaux: Exactly.
Charles: Wait, what if you kill your grampa?
Dr. Claveaux: Then my grandfather would be dead, here.
Charles: And in our time?
Dr. Claveaux: He still will not be dead, there.
Charles: I don't get it.
Dr. Claveaux: Yes, well it is a lot of math.

Part 6: Emma and Sam Defenders of Earth

2007-12-09T14:10:00.000-08:00

Be sure to read parts 1 through 5 first.

Emma and Sam would have to find out more about the Matawans. The next day Sam began calling friends he knew off world. Emma emailed a friend from Oxford England.

Harold,
We met a mysterious race of large spiders.
They call themselves the Matawan. Have you heard of them?
They were friendly, but Sam ate a small scanning device and saw some of the Matawans snooping his insides.
So few people on Earth know as much as you do about alien history. I hope you can tell us more about them.
Sincerely, Emma V.

Sam called Emma over to his room. On his computer screen was a Tumel Trader. Emma didn't like any of the Tumel Traders she had met so far. Harold considered them no better than pirates. Sam preferred to call them smugglers; and he loved their stories.

This trader was named Jaryk. Sam often got Holo-games from him in exchange for items you could only get on Earth. Some aliens could not get enough peanut butter, chocolate or coffee.

Tumel Traders were not allowed to land on Earth, but Sam was happy to meet them in orbit. He regularly brought Emma jewelry, clothes or music, so she tolerated his side business.

Jaryk saw Emma enter the room.

"Greetings Earther. I hear you met the Arachnids of Deep Nest. They have been out of the light for many years and now they call themselves, Matawan. They are crafty. You are wise to be suspicious of them.

Emma sat down to listen, "How dangerous are they?"

Jaryk narrowed his eyes at Sam.

"Alright Jaryk." said Sam. " I'll bring two, seven pounders of peanut butter and five pounds of coffee."

Jaryk waved his hand, "No Sam. This is not my usual stories. Ten pounds of coffee, the peanut butter, and... a kitten."

Sam smirked, "What do you want a cat for?"

"You do not decide my destiny Sam. That is my offer." Jaryk turned his face to the side, as though ready to walk away.

Sam stroked his chin. "Well, thats not so easy Jaryk." Sam winked at Emma. "You see cats are from Egypt, very loved by their pharaohs and all. How about one peanut butter, five pounds of coffee, the cat..."

"A kitten!" Jaryk interrupts.

"...a kitten and 2 pounds of M&M's for the story and..." Sam pretended to think. "...a radar for my armor?"

" Raauurrghhg! It is illegal for me to trade military goods." Jaryk growled.

"It's not illegal for me." Sam smiled.

Jaryk laughed. " You are good Earther. I think you are lying about the cats and pharaohs, but if you make it peanut M&M's, I'll bring you the radar tomorrow, and tell you what I know about Deep Nest."

"Deal." Sam said, and switched off the screen.

Emma took Sam by the shoulders. "Sam, what is he going to do with a cat?"

"Well if he wanted to eat it, he wouldn't want a kitten." Sam shook his shoulders free.

"We can't give him a kitten." Emma pleaded.

"The Tumel Traders aren't supposed to land on Earth, but some of them did. Now mice have spread all over their ships. They don't want to come back down, but the mice are eating up their stuff. I bet Jaryk wants to get rid of his mice. My friend Sharat called last week wanting to know how to get rid of his mice."

"What did you say?" asked Emma.

"I traded him a five pound block of cheddar and a cage, to get a new power supply for my suit." Sam replied.

Emma wondered, "A cage? Is he going to keep them?"

"I said that mice were good luck. Now he'll want cheese and crackers to trade." Sam chuckled.

"Sam, I don't think I like you telling fibs." Emma chastised.

"That's how they trade. They didn't trust me when I was honest. They were offended. Sharat says if you don't try to cheat them, it's an insult; like you think they are lazy or dumb." Sam thought this was fair. "We all know that the other person might lie."

"Well don't get in any trouble." Emma offered.

Sam gave a double thumbs up. "No way, they love me."

Stay tuned for more.

Part 5: Sam and Emma Defenders of Earth

2007-12-08T20:41:00.000-08:00

Be sure to read parts 1 through 4 first.

Emma tried to keep up. When she got to the pod, Sam was throwing levers, flipping toggles and pushing buttons for lift off.

Emma tried to ask Sam what was going on, "Samuel Gene, just what is the meaning of this. I don't mind you running off to play, but we can't just dine and dash like that!"

Sam pointed to a seat and said, " Put your belt on."

"Emma could hear the pod's engines come on. She jumped into a seat and buckled in.

The sunset befan to move in reverse as the pod ascended back up to the ship.

Sam eyed Emma, "Did you eat the orange beetles with black heads?"

Emma gagged, "Are you kidding?"

Sam relaxed, "Good, they were bugged."

"I'll say! Wait, what?" Emma didn't like the look on Sam's face.

The computer slowed the pod and guided it into the side of the ship.

As Sam jogged out of the pod, "I'll show you in the lab."

Sam spent a lot of time in the lab. He studied with thee computer and made little projects.
Sam shoved a bunch of things off his workbench onto the floor.

"Computer, scan this." Sam placed a small blue object onto the scanning pad. There was a tiny blinking light on one end and the whole device smaller than a popcorn kernel.

The computer spoke flatly, "Working...working. It is a very sophisticated biological scanning device."

Sam picked the device up again, the light was getting dim. "How does it work?"

"It is powered by weak acids and transmits scans of nearby tissue to a remote location."

"So it has to be in your stomach to work." Sam said to himself.

Emma was very glad to be away from the Matawans at the moment. She turned Sam away from the counter to face her.

"What is going on? Where did you get that?"

Sam began his story, "I was playing hide and seek with 'Click-click-tock' and I climbed into a vent in a side-room. There was a light on the other end so I crawled over to peek. Inside were four Matawans looking at computers. One was watching you in the library and the other three were looking at my insides on the computer. There was a video of the inside of my stomach and scans of my lungs and stuff. I couldn't tell what they were saying, but I don't think they are as friendly as they say.

Emma plopped onto the stool next to Sam.

"That was in your stomach?"

"Yep." Sam said.

"How'd you get it out?"

Sam grinned.

Emma grimaced. "Eeewww!"

"Wait till they smell that vent."

Stay tuned for more

Part 4: Sam and Emma; Defenders of Earth

2007-12-07T11:26:00.000-08:00

Don't forget to read parts 1 through 3 first.

Emma thanked Ambassador Sheee-Sheee for all the hardwork that went into the meal and entertainment.

"I understand that to humans our appearance can be alarming. I am glad that you and Sam stayed long enough to enjoy our hospitality. We have been eager to meet with the people of Earth."

"Oh, Ambassador, we love meeting new friends. I regret that so few people on Earth know about all the beings in our galaxy." Emma said.

The Ambassador held two pairs of his front legs together in thought.

"Well, Emma of Earth, the Chuchi people that commissioned you and Sam to travel and meet so many of those beings, understand how a species can be frightened of outsiders. We ourselves have been reluctant to, come out of our nest, so to speak. There are still those among us who are fearful of exposing ourselves. Our new Queen, however, believes we must make it known to our neighbors that the Matawans are here."

Emma wanted very much to meet the Queen.

"Will we see her highness on this visit, Ambassador?" Emma asked.

"At the moment she is on our home-world. In fact, I have never known her to leave. Very busy, you know? I will be sure she knows what a great experience it has been to meet the Earthlings." the Ambassador said.

Emma was happy to hear this, and said,

"Well, you have been a great host. When it is time for all the people of Earth to know about our neighbors, the Matawans will be known for the kindness we saw today."

"I am glad to hear that Miss Emma. Will you and Sam be staying the night?"

Emma wanted to stay longer, but they needed to get home.

"We will have to save that for another time, Ambassador. Sam and I must return home soon."

The Ambassador snapped his mandibles twice and his assistant came to his side.

"Please let 'click-click-tock' know that our guests must leave soon. Explain to master Sam that Miss Emma and I will be in the library waiting for him." The Ambassador said, and then waved the assistant off.

The Ambassador led Emma to the other side of the great room and opened a door to what looked like an elevator shaft. Emma leaned in and saw that there was no lift.

The Ambassador turned to Emma and said, "Miss Emma, as you have no web of your own, I am afraid I must carry you down."

Emma neither liked heights or spiders. She did her best not to tremble as the great insect gently scooped her off the floor. She did make a small "Ahhh" as the Ambassador swung into the shaft and dropped 10 stories, straight down, before slowing to an easy stop at the bottom.

The library ceiling was high above them. The library itself, spread out before them for perhaps two kilometers. The massive ceiling was covered with murals of spiders doing all manner of things. Some built temples, some built machines and others flew ships. There were paintings of spiders making discoveries and setting foot on alien worlds.

Between the floor and ceiling were lengths of metal shaped into pillars of web. Emma wondered if they held the ceiling up, or the floor.

The Ambassador was showing her a picture of the first of their kind to fly, when her pocket vibrated. She had forgotten the walkie-talkie Sam had given her earlier. Two buzzes meant that he was checking to see if she was OK. She didn't want to interrupt Ambassador Sheee-Sheee, so she slipped her hand into her pocket and keyed the button twice to signal back. Sam had told her something else about the walkie-talkies; She couldn't remember. He could find her somehow. They had little screens on the front that must guide him.

Now the Ambassador was pointing to a small model of the first Matawan plane. It looked to Emma like the wings of a moth. When the Ambassador turned a crank on the front of the display, the wings flapped.

Emma was just noticing what looked like little bombs strapped to the bottom when the Ambassador's assistant came skittering out of the shaft. he was chattering away in their spider language.

Ambassador Sheee-Sheee turned to Emma, "We can't find your brother. Where would he go?"

Emma wasn't sure she liked the Ambassador's tone. She was about to say so, when a rope hit the floor beside her. Sam slid down from a skylight and landed beside Emma. Emma couldn't help but notice Sam's gauntleted hand resting on his gummyball gun.

Sam looked Emma over and surveyed the huge room. "Well, thanks for everything guy's; Emma and I should be going now."

Emma thought this terribly rude, but Sam always had a good reason when he was impolite.

She said, "Yes, Sam is right. Thank you for everything. We'll be in touch."

Sam attached the rope to a pulley on his belt as Emma spoke to the Ambassador. As she finished speaking Sam looped some rope under her arms and engaged the pulley. Emma and Sam rocketed up the rope. Sam didn't slow down until they reached the top. Emma could hear the motors running inside his suit. It made him very strong. He pushed her through the opening onto the grass and ran towards the pod.

Stay tuned for more:

Slusho/Cloverfield

2007-12-07T08:51:00.000-08:00

For those of you interested in Cloverfield. Here is a movie from a viral website. It is crazy silly.

Part 3: Sam and Emma Defenders of Earth

2007-12-06T10:41:00.000-08:00

Make sure to read part one and two first:

They walked along well lit hallways. The floor rose and fell and the hallways bore left and right as if they were burrowed into the ground. Every few meters they passed a shaft of light from the surface. The walls were paneled in a rich wood with brass rails running down each corridor they passed. Many of the doors had copper plates with figures on them.
Sam ran his fingers over the bumps and textures as they passed.

Soon the hallway opened into a large room.

"You could play basketball in here!" Sam yelled. His echo returned back from the other wall.

"Cool!" says Sam.

"Cool!" says echo.

"Ha!" Sam laughs.

"Ha!" echo laughs also.

An enormous table is set on hte right side of the large room. Before the table is a large wooden floor.

The Ambassador beckons then to the table, and as they are seated several spiders begin to enter the room. Some are carrying large trays and others are draped in scarves and jewels.
As the trays are being set on the table, the costumed spiders begin to dance. Emma is amazed at how graceful the huge insects are, and how complex their dance is. She steps to the edge of the dance floor and starts rocking to the music. Soon a spider stops in front of her and bows low, tapping the floor.

Emma begins tapping the same rythym. The spider leads her in to the dance floor. Emma twirls and jumps and pirouettes, til she is full of giggles.

When the music stops, all the spiders begin tapping their approval. The leader of the spider dance troupe puts a hairy arm on her shoulder and proclaims, "Who knew such beautiful dancing could be done on only two legs? I shall have to create a dance in your honor.".

Emma smiled and blushed. She thanked the dancers and the Ambassador.
As she sat down and looked at Sam she realized he had a six inch grub hanging out of his mouth. Stunned, she looked at the table. It was crawling with worms, grubs, larvae and slime covered eggs.

Speechless she turned to Sam who said, "The eyes are a little bitter, but the rest is like beef flavored marshmallows."

Emma's stomach knotted it self up tightly. She gulped loudly and reminded Sam not to talk with his mouth full.

"I'm just so excited. Permission to see what a bug tastes like. Awesome!"

Sam began swatting and gorging on some large ants while stabbing up red and orange caterpillars with his free hand.

Emma was sure she was as green as the slime covered eggs. She knew though, that she represented Earth and must be as gracious a guest as she could be. She picked out some critters that looked like purple shrimp and was glad to find that they were just like tapioca inside. She was even more glad to see that no one else was eating the heads either.

While Sam ate everything he could catch, and stuck a few slow movers in his pockets, Emma managed to fill up on enough non-wiggly items, that did not stare at her, to be almost full. She was happy that she had a little room left when dessert arrived. It was cold and sweet like ice-cream, but it was blue, and clear like honey. Sheee-Sheee called it 'moon water'.

When the feast was over Sam pushed his plates away and crawled up on the table to lay down. His belly stood in the air and was hardly contained under his little suit of armor. Click-click-tock began to tickle him and after falling to the floor laughing they chased each other around the room and off down the hall.

Stay tuned for more...

Part 2:Sam and Emma, Defenders of Earth

2007-12-05T10:09:00.000-08:00

The spiders were staring at Sam and Emma, mandibles clicking. Finally Sam lowered his gun and said, "I aint afraid of spiders. Besides they're wearing ties."

Emma tried to look past all those glassy black eyes. Sam was right. The one in front had a country tie like Colonel Sanders. They all had something around their necks. The one on the right of the lead spider was smaller than the others and had rose colored hairs on the joints of her legs. Emma supposed this was a 'her', because she had a beautiful pink and tan scarf. The spider to the left had a patch of orange ruffles from his neck to the back of his abdomen.

The lead spider raised a front leg and squeezed the silver clasp of his bolo tie. A blue light appeared on the front and in perfect English, she heard, "Hello and welcome to Rula Vala III. I am Ambassador Sheee-Sheee." The Ambassador said his name in two hisses; "Sheee-Sheee".

The Ambassador waved three of his legs toward the girl spider on his right, "This is my daughter 'click-click-tock'.

Sam imitated her name by tapping his little gauntlet against the breast plate of his armor. The girl made a giggly kind of wheezing noise. Sam raised the face plate on his helmet and smiled.

The spider with orange ruffles handed the Ambassador a grape sized crystal. When the Ambassador held it in front of Sam and Emma, they could see a small lizard frozen inside the green rock.

"This is a dragon seed. Mind where you plant him and you mustn't water it to much; they are desert creatures."

Sam reached first and gaped at the gift, "Wow!".

Emma felt very self conscious about her small clay swan. She considered not giving it to the Matawans. She knew that it would be bad manners not to give a gift in return, so she held the swan out to the Ambassador.

Emma could not contain a fearful grimace, as two huge spider legs with bristles, reached down and took the small figurine.

Ambassador Sheee-Sheee turned it left and right and asked if it was a statue of an Earth creature.

Emma, embarrassed, said, "Yes, it is a swan. I made it this afternoon."

The Ambassador and his daughter gasped. "You made this yourself, just for us? Thank you so much, Emma of Earth. We are humbled that you would give of yourself in this way." Click-click-tock began prancing on all eight legs. Her father handed the swan to her and she began tracing the smooth curves of it's wings.

Sam reached into his back pack to pull out a great big bag of cotton candy. He tore off a fistful and held it in front of the Ambassador.

"I didn't make this, but its my favorite carnival candy to eat.

The Ambassador leaned forward and delicately took the little cloud of sugar between his great mandibles.

"This is delicious, Sam of Earth. It is as sweet as nectar, but looks like our webs. Thank you."

"Your welcome. I can make loads more." and Sam handed some to click-click-tock.

Sam and Emma followed the Ambassador below ground.

Stay tuned for more.

Lego Artist

2007-12-04T11:44:00.000-08:00

Sam and Emma; Defenders of Earth

2007-12-04T08:26:00.000-08:00

"Are we there yet?" 10 year old Emma asked the computer.

"No." said the computer flatly.

This answer always irritated Emma. She raised her voice, "I mean, wheeeen are we going to get there?"

"We will arrive at the Matawan colony on Ruta Vala III at 4 o'clock twenty-three minutes and thirty-nine seconds." Responded the computer.

Sam chimed in from the galley, " So lets eat!"

Emma crossed the bridge into the galley. There was room enough for eight at the table, but Sam and his lunch occupied three places on the end. He could eat like an adult, even though he was six.

Sam had gotten into the crackers and cheese they had brought. He also had been trying to make Earth style food with the 'Electric Cook' on this alien ship.

It could reproduce peanut butter and jam, however it couldn't make bread. The "Food Box" as Sam called it, would weave coasters out of a kind of fiber that tasted like wheat bread and was as dry and brittle as instant noodles. This never bothered Sam. Emma asked the 'Food Box' for a hotdog with ketchup, "No bun."

Emma and Sam loved going places on the ship. Despite the odd food, the ship never failed to carry them somewhere exciting.

Today they were going to visit the Matawans. The computer new very little about this alien race. They never allowed outsiders to their world. Now the Matawans had begun colonizing nearby worlds and asking to meet their neighbors.

Emma enjoyed making friends from many different planets. Some had become close and Emma wrote to them often.

Sam was happiest on the go. He didn't seem to care where they were headed; he wanted to see it.

Emma liked to bring gifts when she visited new aliens, but very little was known about the Matawans, so it was difficult to pick out something she knew they would like.

"Give 'em candy." Sam said, "Everyone likes candy."

"Yeah, but what if they don't have any mouths?" Emma countered.

"Well, get them a candy they can slurp in case they have proboskis." Sam said slurping.

Emma corrected, "You mean, proboscis."

"Not if it's more than one." said Sam.

Emma gave a heavy sigh. Sam could help and tease at the same time.

Since Matawans might live on sunlight instead of marshmallows; Emma decided to make some art.

Sam was teasing again, but he was right when he said she should make something bumpy, "In case they're color blind."

In no time at all she had made a swan out of clay and painted it.

Sam decided to bring a gift as well. He was going to bring cotton candy. "If they have proboskis we'll just get it wet. "He explained.

Soon the ship was in orbit. As always the computer checked the air to make sure they could breathe and then arranged a pod to drop Sam and Emma to the surface. The pods were small. All they did was go up or down, like an elevator. There were four seats in the pod with belts and passengers rode back to back facing out through the windows.

Emma could barely keep Sam in his belt, he loved looking over the edge as they went down.

Ruta Vala III was emerald green from space and as Sam and Emma descended they expected to see lush dense jungle hills or forest mountains. Instead the horizon was just as straight and green when they landed as when they left the ship. They stepped out of the pod onto beautiful green grass. It looked like a soccer field for as far as they could see. All the way to the clouds, in fact. The sun stood high in the sky and shone brightly.

This spot is where they were to meet the Matawans; how come there were no buildings?

Sam ran into the pod and put on a set of armor the ship had made him. He handed Emma a walkie-talkie and checked the gummyballs in his gun. The gummyballs did not hurt. When you get hit with one it becomes sticky and spongy like bread dough. They could stick a grown up to the ground.

Emma admonished, "Put that away Sam, we were invited."

"Yeah, for dinner. Maybe were the dinner!" Sam retorted.

Suddenly the ground on their right peeled back revealing a swarm of spiders. Not house spiders, not tarantula size spiders, but man size spiders. Emma and Sam were surrounded.

"Eeeeek!" Emma shouted. "Sam shoot them!"

Sam had his gummyball gun raised, but he didn't move a muscle. The spiders were staring at Sam and Emma, mandibles clicking.

--Stay tuned for the next chapter--

AnimalTronic

2007-11-26T08:49:00.000-08:00

A neat video of Robots inspired by nature.
Thanks Neatorama

Retro Ads for Contemporary toys

2007-08-23T21:00:00.001-07:00

Wow! It is better than a bed-time story.

Check out these ads that are from the Worth1000 website.

These are for new items, but advertised with old fashioned pictures and slogans.

There are ads for the Ford Mustang, Viagra, Apple computers, Anti-depressants and others.

Hairy face

2007-08-21T20:19:00.000-07:00

Grow a beard.
It is manly.
For advice go to this website.

Content-Aware Image Sizing

2007-08-20T20:31:00.000-07:00

Just when I think that I can't be surprised by what a computer can do.

A group has just figured out a way to resize an image without losing the important elements.

I don't know how to explain it any better so hear is a video.

Philosophy Notes

2007-08-18T14:31:00.000-07:00

Everything I learned in Philosophy 101:

Notes:

Philosophy

Lucretius
Epicureanism
Only two components to existence-
Bodies and the Void
The swerve of particles causes collisions and the creation of all things.
The first-beginnings(Vital Clusters)(Soul Bits) can be knocked from a person causing death.
He believes that since swerveing particles inhabit the whole of the universe that they would necessarily cause the creation of other worlds and races of men.
Mind and soul are of a union.
Mind and body are united and one degrades with the other. Implies no life after death.

Mill
Actions are rights in proportion as they tend to promote happiness, wrong as they tend to produce the reverse of happiness.
"It is better to be a human being dissatisfied than a pig satisfied." Pleasure of the mind is more valuable than pleasure of the Senses.
Men lose their ability to be noble for want of practice. Society does not allow them to indulge their noble aspirations.

Nietzsche-Immoralist
insists than, in an important sense, we choose our moralities and that this choice can not be justified in an argument. Appreciated ancient Greek morality.
Slave morality-Duty-Herd instinct-survival
Mater morality- virtuous action to better oneself.
Excellence is a goal, and contributes to mankind as a whole.
Find your values within yourself. Follow yourself not me.
"Will to Power" Is the effort to excel as individuals.

d'Holbach
We are slaves to selfish will.
Will is directed by outside forces.
Man can not be to blame for his actions, because he is at all times doing what he believes is in his best interest, based on experience or teaching, or tempermant.

Kant
Morality is strictly a matter of practical reason, divorced from our personal interests and desires and based solely on universal principals of law. The ends do not justify the means. It requires Autonomy, not obedience. Duty.
Do not blame someone for their character or abilities, many factors contribute to a person's circumstances, like heredity or upbringing. What is really important is the will to do good, what we try to do is in our control and is the only thing worthy of moral consideration.
Believes in God. So everything has a purpose.
You should do your duty because it is your duty, not for any personal gain.
Kant believes we should try to be happy because it will assist us in our ability to do our duty.
Decide what you should do by asking yourself, What if everyone were to do that?
Categorical Imperative-You msut do in all situations. Don't Lie. Don't kill.
God is good because he obeys the laws of morality.
Kant believes in categorical imperatives, a person is wrong for doing a bad thing, but the situation may deny punishment for the wrongdoind.
Kant does not allow for conflicts in moral law, like being forced to tell something one promised to keep secret or lie about it.
Prohibits suicide as we are obligated to develop our talents.
All those capable of being rational are obligated to do their moral duty.

Liebniz-Pluralist(belief that many entities exist.)
Monads-immaterial with no extension, indivisible. Can only be created all at once or destroyed all at once by a Super Monad(God)
No two Monads have the same qualities, each is different. Only God can tell them apart.
A monad is alive and changes from within. They are programmed for future interactions by God at creation. Monads perceive?
attacks Newton.
Its present is pregnant with its future.
The best of all possible worlds
Each monad is a reflection of the universe.
God is creator lord and final cause. The uncreated monad.
Principle of sufficient reason-all things must be justified and ultimately all events must be justified by God.
From Romans 2:15 The Law of God is written in the heart, Conscioncess bear it out.

Rousseau
The first impulse of nature is always right.
There is no original sin.
Wrong doing depends on harmful intentions.
If man is naturally evil than to do good would me corrupting his nature, Virtue itself would cause remorse.
Conscience and feeling leads us to morality.

Descartes
What can we know?
Premis 1-I think therefore I am. In order to doubt my existence I must exist.
"Method of Doubt"
Descartes appeals to reason rather than experience because we could be deceived by our experiences.
Reason a first premise.
Geometry and algebra are real, because answers remain the same for everyone in any situation.
Premis 2-God exists because I could not exist without him.
Cartesian Circle-He assumes the existence of God in order to prove his existence.
Descartes must also have confidence in his ability to reason, which may be unfounded.

Locke
A method appropriate to generalizations from experience, or induction.
Probability and degrees of assent.
Not as certain as deductions.
rejects innate or inborn ideas, because no idea is accepted by all and if you contained a truth but were unaware of it that is as good as not knowing it.
Knowledge comes only from experience.
Primary Qualities-Properties inherent in objects; Size and Shape. Inseperable from body, Solidity, Extension, figure, motion or rest, and number.
Secondary Qualities-Properties things appear to have; Color, texture and sounds.
"Causal Theory of Perception" Insensible particles bring perception of the qualities of objects to us.
Assumes his existence and the existence of God.
Suggests that the idea of "forms" is produced by the categorization of percieved patterns in the brain.

Berkeley-Skeptic
Subjective Idealism-Doctrine; No material objects only minds and ideas in minds, created by God.
Objects are a collection of ideas. smell, taste, color...
Berkeley assumes his existence and the existence of God.
"To be is to be perceived."
Nothing can exist outside of the mind because nothing is like an idea except another idea.
Ray says "But matter can destroy the mind"
Things don't come into existence by thought alone or NOT exist when they are not perceived because God's will produces them. Things are not excited at random as the Human will is apt to do. Things are regular and steady, which testifies to the existence of God.

Hume-empiricist & Skeptic
Speaking of literature on Divinity and Metaphysics-"Does it contain any experimental reasoning concerning matter of fact and existence? No, Commit it to the flames, for it can contain nothing but sophistry and illusion."
Hume's Fork-"All reasoning may be divided into two kinds, namely, Demonstrative reasoning, or that concerning relations of ideas, and Moral reasoning, or that concerning matter of fact and existence."

Matters of fact; which are the second object of human reason, are not ascertained in the same manner; nor is our evidence of their truth, however great, of a like nature with the foregoing. Can not be proven to be true.
Impressions can not accurately portray reality. My idea of Paris does not represent all of its streets and houses in proportion.

"To justify a belief as knowledge we must break up its complex ideas into simple ideas and then find the impressions upon which those ideas are based."
Rejects existence of God because there is no evidence or relation of ideas.
Shows that cause and effect are the basis of of all reasoning and then proves such reasoning is not a relation of ideas or a matter of fact.
"The contrary of every matter of fact is still possible; because it can never imply a contradiction.

It is either Monday or not Monday-It is not Monday and it is Monday*Contradiction
A human is a primate-A human is not a primate*Contradiction
The sun will rise tomorrow-The sun will not rise tomorrow*NOT Contradiction as past is not sufficient prove of the future.
We do not know cause and effect because of reason but only through experience.
Induction can not be established by Hume's Fork.
Ray says, it makes everything mean nothing.

Plato
Suggests that ideas are born into us.
Says that either we follow God's laws either because they are his or because they are good; In either case we must decide whether the laws are good, in order to accept God or the Laws.(We Decide our Morality)
If one thought they could act with impunity they would always do so.
Society is built on agreements spawned by selfish concern.

Socrates

Aristotle
Argues that being virtuous, controlling our feelings and acting rationally, enables us to become fullly human.
Virtue is rational activity.
"The natural good for man is to find what Men desire for it's own sake and not for the sake of anything else".
There can be no infinite regress, there must be some ultimate end.
Mans purpose is to utilize his faculties.
Respect and honour are ingredients in the good life.
We need good education.

Two kinds of virtues:
Practical and Moral Virtues; Courage, Generosity
Intellectual Virtues; skill at mathematics and philosophy
We learn to do by doing what we wish to do, so by doing just acts we learn to be just. Virtue aquired by practice.
Virtuous nature is not just believing in moral behavior, but doing virtuos actions, because one believes in doing good things, and enjoys it.
Virtue is a habit of choice.
Excellence is destroyed by excess or deficiency. The courageous man fears not to much nor to little.
Aristotle feels humility is a deficiency.
Vanity-Pride-Humility
Extreme-Appropriate-deficiency
Virtues of Aristotle*
Courage--Temperance(moderation in food sex and other pleasures)--Charity--Pride--Good Temper--Friendliness--Truthfulness--Wittiness(Fun)--Shame(When mistakes are made)--Justice
Happiest life? "The life of contemplation"
Aristotle says only a small elite are capable of happiness.
Ray says, I like happiness. Faculties, like gifts from God.

Principle of Induction-The future will be like the past.

Rationalist Thinking
The key to rationalist thinking "Intuition of Mind"-obtain premises from which to draw conclusions.

Empiricist-assume that evidence from perception is the only source of knowledge about the world.

Necessary Truths-Beliefs that we cannot even imagine being false and that lie beyond the range of all possible doubt and refutation. A Priori knowledge thatis independent of experience.

Utilitarians-hold that any good moral rule should promote the greatest happiness for the greatest number.

Correspondence Theory of Truth-an assertion is only true if it has a relation to reality. Commonsense.

Contingent Truths-knowledge that is true but may be false.

Ethical Relativist-The idea that two different moral values can be correct at the same time.

Ethical Altruism-Poeple ought to act with eachother's interests in mind.

Ethical Absolutism-The belief that there is only one moral truth.

Cultural Relativism-The fact that different cultures have different moralities.

Law of contradiction-Something can not exist and not exist simultaneously.

Psychological Egoism-is the thesis that everyone can only act out of self interest.

Ethical Egoism-Is that we can act in other peoples interests but we should act only for our own interests.

Relativism-The thesis that truth varies from context to context, from culture to culture, that truth is relative to a context, a culture, a language, a set of circumstances, a way of looking at the world.(All points of view are equally valid)

My new favorite music video

2007-08-16T16:13:00.000-07:00

This is awesome. I have never seen someone give little robots so much personality.

New Website for AssClowns

2007-08-15T17:53:00.000-07:00

There is a new blog out today. It is called "Are you an AssClown?". This is a very important question that you must ask yourself. If you are not sure of the answer or would like to find out if a loved one or significant other is an AssClown you should definitely check it out.

Chumby; First 50

2007-08-12T06:57:00.000-07:00

The Chumby is finally starting to get into the hands of the public.

I have posted about it before. See this video of the unboxing to find out more.

Posted to YouTube by Cheapedia.com.

Steampunk Mechanic

2007-08-10T07:30:00.000-07:00

Just watched a video of Richard Nagy a Steampunk artist.

Watch this short video to find out more about Steampunk and see some of his elegant and detailed work.

Thanks to Gadget Lab for posting this.

Visit Nagy's site at Datamancer.net

Tiny Ninjas

2007-08-09T13:57:00.000-07:00

This video is great. My son can also kick butt like this.
From CollegeHumor.com.

Dancing Robot

2007-08-09T07:45:00.001-07:00

Wow! I hope these don't make it into strip joints.

Immortal I

2007-08-09T07:18:00.000-07:00

By Clayton Ray Randell

Long life, means nothing
Without song, spirits, and love.
Without someone with which to sing,
I would rather be above.

I gave my soul to eternity,
my curiosity, over turned thought.
I, now long to be with thee;
You have not been forgot.

Decades ago, and decades to be,
I while away my time;
and nothing is ever new to me,
except my whimsied rhyme.

There are others I have loved,
before their time was through.
But none of them have I loved,
quite as much as you.

A Little Shade in Dallas

2007-08-08T21:51:00.000-07:00

By Clayton Ray Randell

That ice cream was good. I must have licked that ice cream in every possible direction. It was the kind of ice cream that doesn’t seem to melt even on the hottest days; and boy was it hot. Dallas gets pretty hot, even in November.

“They” weren’t here yet, so the crowd kind of just milled around, restless, because of the heat.

I leaned against the fence. At least I was in the shade. I was a ways off from the goings on, but I could see it all through the scope.

There was music coming from somewhere up the road. I’m sure it sounded rather triumphant and joyful over there, but muffled by the still, hot air, from where I was standing, it sounded a little like a death march.

From on top of that knoll I could see most of the plaza. I could see kids playing, wives setting up picnic spots, while the men loaded cameras or stood about giving each other those glances of formality that men do.

Hiding behind this fence, getting ready to do the terrible act I was about to commit, allowed me to stand back from humanity, to look at how they act and react.

I am down to the cone now. Crunchy, sweet, loveliness on this hot November day. I’ll be finished by the time “They” come.

Timing is important. More so because I am not the only one involved. I don’t see why they didn’t do it at the airport. I guess it’s because they wanted a lot of people to see it. Plus the Secret Service guys would also be more spread out running along the road.

My superiors didn’t tell me much back then. I had done odd jobs for them in the past, but they didn’t trust me to any real information. In fact, if the number one choice for this assignment hadn’t been crushed by some bricks falling off the Kremlin and taking her with them, while trying to shoot into an office building across the street, I wouldn’t even be here.

I wouldn’t be here, with this lovely ice cream

Chapter 6: Knights of the Obscure and Obtuse

2007-08-08T21:27:00.000-07:00

By Clayton Ray Randell

>Beep…Beep…Beep.

“Dr. Kimberly?” A disembodied voice speaks from the intercom on the wall.

“Yes.” Albert answered.

“ Your team will be assembling shortly. I will be at your room in thirty minutes to show you to the lab.”

“Thanks Sybaritia.”

Albert showered and shaved. He found a brand new lab coat hanging in the closet. He removed the I.D. tag from the lapel and pinned it to his own lab coat. Albert’s lab coat had been with him on three worlds and dozens of projects. It was bright purple and had eight sterling silver buttons shaped like each of the planets in the solar system. Embroidered above the right hand pocket was ‘Al’.

After drinking a container of tangerine juice from his small fridge, Sybaritia rang his bell.

Albert opened the door right away and instantly felt embarrassed that he might seem to excited to see his beautiful tour guide.

“Hello Albert.”

“Sybaritia. How are you this morning?”

“Good; and you?”

“Not bad”

“How was your dinner last night, Dr. Kimberly?”

“Excellent. If all the food here is that good I’ll get fat?”

“Well I am sure you will work up a good appetite. Speaking of which, I think that everyone should be ready to receive you now.”

They headed down the corridor to the elevator. After reaching the 38th floor. They walked down another hallway to the lab shuttle. Unlike the other elevators the shuttle moved in three directions; up, down and diagonal. It could reach any of the fifty-one labs, and had a direct route to the underground maintenance and manufacturing levels.

The shuttle hummed along, first traveling straight up then slowly changing direction to follow the slant of the outside of the pyramid. As it did so a wall to the left of Albert seemed to melt away and become transparent. The Martian landscape was crisp and crimson in the early morning twilight.

Albert couldn’t shake the visions in his dream last night. He wasn’t sure what, if anything the dream had meant. Mentioning it to Sybaritia might make him feel better he thought. Before he could say anything the shuttle came to a halt and the doors sprang open with the whine of pneumatic tubes.

“Were here Albert.”

Albert looked out the door to see a rather ominous looking hallway. The rest of the facility was quite well lit, but this particular corridor was lit dimly, with a hint of blue and was quite long. At the end, almost fifty meters away stood the door.

Sybaritia stepped into the hall and when Albert hesitated she gently took his hand and led him out of the shuttle. The walls were lined with dark vertical tubes. The dark paneling on the floor sloped up forty-five degrees to the white wall from a foot away. The ceiling was the same only inverted. Over all it gave Albert the impression of walking through the woods.
As they walked the walls glowed around them, and their tiny bubble of light followed them to the large door.

To the right of the door was an optical scanner and below that a palm identifier.

“Eat me. Drink me.” Albert said, almost unconsciously.

“What?”

Albert realizing how perverted that might sound said. “ It’s from an old movie.”

“I know.” Sybaritia said. ” I guess that makes me the White Rabbit?”

With that she peered into the optical scanner and placed her hand on the palm identifier.

The door which appeared to be much like the other doors in the facility was actually almost twenty inches thick and swung on gigantic hinges. The door was seven feet high on the hallway side, and expanded to be almost fifteen feet on the other side.

Inside the lab, Albert found himself looking at five of the solar systems better known scientists running around like children at a carnival.

A funny little old man with glasses and a decidedly English lisp was relating to the others just how impressive a ‘static graviton suppressor’ really was. Not that the others were listening to him. Several of them were toying with robotic arms or testing the ability of the lab computers to model DNA and chemical reactions.

When Sybaritia said “Hi kids.” The respected scientists dropped what they were doing and lined up before her like a troop of boy scouts.

Collectively from the doctors. “Hello Ms. Fields.”

“Kids, I would like for you to all meet your new Lab leader. Dr. Albert Kimberly.”

An Asian gentleman spoke up. “Oh, Dr. Kimberly, you were the one who was able to reproduce the DNA from the algae on Halley’s comet.”

“Only because I couldn’t keep the samples alive on the trip back to Earth.”

Sybaritia cut in. “Are English friend in the glasses is Dr. Slater. From the United Asian Space Engineers, we have Dr. Shoji Watanabe. In the pink dress is Dr. Sandra McCalistair from the Stanley Gene Lab orbiting the moon. With the dreadlocks is Dr. Caesar LeBeau.”

“Everybody calls me Smokey, man.”

“On the end is Deirdre Mazer, she is your lab assistant.

Professor Malton spoke up. “She is also a fabulous niece”

Albert wondered how Malton managed to sneak up on them when the enormous door to the lab was closed. Turning to his left he saw how. An elevator that must have been flush with the ceiling when it was all the way up was lowering Malton, who was not alone. Standing beside Malton was a man dressed in the blackest material Albert had ever seen. The man seemed to suck light out of the space around him.

Malton, ever placid “So, I see you have all met. Not to over whelm you but I would like to add one more face.”

And what a face it is, thought Albert. The man’s eyes had no color. What white he saw was nearly inked out by shinny blackness. Albert couldn’t tell if there was no iris, completely black iris’s or total dilation.

“This is Fenian Samizdat, with the Bureau of Knowledge. He will be observing how we run this facility for awhile.

And with a nod Fenian was suddenly an unexpected fixture of the lab.

Analysis of Akira Kurosawa's Seven Samurai

2007-08-07T15:54:00.001-07:00

Clayton Ray Randell
Analysis of Seven Samurai

The Seven Samurai
獅子人の侍

Seven Samurai is deservedly called a masterpiece. Directed by famed Akira Kurosawa, the Seven Samurai set the bar for decades, and still influences modern cinema. This film is truly epic especially considering it was filmed in 1954.

The theme in Seven Samurai is about class structure, social roles and honor. In the early fifties Japan was recovering from defeat by America and its allies. This was a time when Japan was reevaluating their society and their goals. More importantly what roles would the Japanese as individuals play in the future, and what would that mean to the traditional caste system in Japan. This Analysis will attempt to explore how these themes are expressed by considering three major scenes and then covering the overall technical and style choices of the film.

There are so many scenes and even shots, within the Seven Samurai that give subtle clues to character and narrative, that it is difficult to single out certain sequences without feeling like you are cheating the movie. A few scant pages could not do justice to the power of this film. Someone not familiar with Japan or not very observant may miss some of the hints that are given as to character and narrative. As an example there is a shot in the city where Sitiji meets his old friend Kambei at the stable. When Kambei asks Sitiji if he is tired of fighting Sitiji stoops down and turns his slippers towards the door, signaling his willingness to leave with Kambei for another battle.

In order to pick out the main themes in this film it will help to delve into the choices that Kurosawa made in filming a few very specific scenes. Kurosawa’s past as a painter likely influenced his ability to compose a shot with several distinct faces at multiple distances performing and reacting in very different ways. This makes for very complicated but emotionally diverse frames.

The first very specific example I will explore is a classic shot. Even today we see this technique used but this kind of camera use and composition started with masters like Kurosawa. When the villagers have spent some time training with the samurai and have begun to trust them there is a scene where they all gather with the samurai in the village center. This is the same place where the entire village was earlier lamenting their fate, when they found out that the bandits would return. They have returned and are surrounding Kambei and Sitiji as he speaks to them. The villagers are sitting in an organized circle, shoulder-to-shoulder, and facing Kambei. The camera travels around the outside of the circle facing in on a long dolly shot. We see the sitting villagers and a full shot of Kambei and Sitiji from eye level. It is obvious the point made in this sequence is that the villagers and the samurai have formed a force and have chosen leadership. More striking than this is the fact that each villager has a spear over his shoulder pointing out of the circle. As the camera moves around the circle the points of the spears jut out at the audience almost appearing to stick out of the screen. This gives the previously confused and weak village a menacing and imposing appearance. I believe the intent of this scene is to represent the power of the old system in Japan.

A very militaristic hierarchy was necessary during the feudal period in Japan to protect the different clans from each other. Of course the scene ends with an example of what happened when someone tried to break ranks and be an individual. One of the villagers, whose house is outside the protective boundaries set up around the town, tries to lead a revolt and get his neighbors to join him. Kambei draws his sword and drives them back in line and warns them that if they do not act together they will fall. This is a clear example of the subjugation of individual freedom required by Japans caste system in order for a small group to persevere. This is illustrated beautifully with a crane shot looking down at a long line of villagers as Kambei herds these wayward villagers back to the flock, forming a wall of people. Adding momentum to the scene is a strong gale that blows dust and debris across the screen. The impact of this scene is not diminished by a lack of musical score. The blowing wind and yelling gives the scene a desperation that would be diluted by trying to force emotion on the scene with music. The center of the village plays stage to the most poignant scenes of the movie.

All of the main characters offer an archetypal persona or atypical social stance. Their dialogue with one another is a dialogue within a culture. The most powerful and outrageous character within Seven Samurai is Kikutio. It is impossible to analyze this film without addressing Tosiro Mifune’s orphan turned samurai. Mifune manages to cavort and holler and bark, while controlling and expressing and living a character that few actors could even now play with believability. Kikutio’s past is not revealed to us until late in the film. It is clear however that he was never a real samurai.

We see Kikutio in another important scene explain for Kambei, and by extension the audience, how the samurai and villagers have coexisted in the recent past. A cache of weapons and armor has been found. The samurai know from experience that the equipment was taken from the bodies of dead samurai or stolen from samurai who were killed while alone and on the run; likely by the very villagers that are now wanting the samurai to save them from the bandits. Mifune handles the dialogue expertly and to show the impact of this scene and its connection to the purpose of this film I will transcribe Kikutio’s diatribe.

Foxy beasts!, They say they have nothing but, dig under the floors… You’ll find plenty. They pose as saints but are full of lies. Farmers are stingy, foxy, blubbering, mean, stupid and murderous!…God Damn that’s what they are,…But then who made them such beasts!?…You did! You samurai did it!…You burn their villages, force them to labor, take their women…

Kikutio then breaks down in tears. Kambei also begins to cry and asks Kikutio if he was a farmers son. Unwilling to answer Kikutio stumbles out of the house and escapes down the road.

Again Kurosawa rightly makes the decision to have no musical accompaniment to this scene. Mifune is allowed and able to carry the entire emotional load of the scene. His impassioned yelling becomes a bray as we see a glimpse into his tortured past. Kambei is wise enough to see through to the truth behind Kikutio’s bravado. Kurosawa uses only one edit during Kikutio’s speech. The majority of it is a medium shot of Kikutio’s bust. He has dressed up as though he is a small boy playing at being a samurai. The only break is to show Kikutio throw a handful of arrows against the wall. I feel this shot of the arrows is an example of Kikutio’s anger throughout his life. No direction, lashing out at everything around him. All those who are caught between the shame of their position in life and their pride in that same position share Kikutio’s torment. Wanting to exist on the next level but resenting it at the same time. Kikutio has to find an outlet for his anger and passion. After the death of Gorobei and Yohei, Kikutio finds his place.

Feeling responsible for Gorobei and Yohei’s death Kikutio takes up the banner that Heinati fashioned before his death, and plants it on the roof of the villages tallest building calling out to the villagers and samurai to take up arms and not give up. The villagers are all standing on the hill that contains the burial mounds of the fallen samurai and villagers. This long low angle shot shows the villagers scattered on the hill around different mounds that are silhouetted against a cold grey sky. The samurai’s burial mounds have their weapons pointing into the sky and again a strong wind is blowing dust across the actors and the sky. The villagers turn and see the banner it says boldly ‘Farmers’ and has seven triangles representing the samurai. Their strength and courage is renewed and they are ready to fight again. This scene shows the villagers in the bleakest of circumstances. Defeated and literally facing death, until Kikutio calls down to them from the rooftops. They all must continue to work together.

The story behind Rikiti is another example of a code of honor and class structures effect on someone. We know from the beginning that something has happened to Rikiti at the hands of the bandits. He is the most desperate to find samurai and fight back. We find later in the movie the reason Rikiti is so filled with rage. Kyuro, Heinati, Kikutio and Rikiti head off to the bandits hideout to mount a surprise attack. They come down a tight valley and find the bandits asleep in their huts. The samurai set fire to the huts and prepare to kill the bandits as they are smoked out. Peering through the cracks in the hut Kyuro and Heinati see a young woman wake up. Kurosawa uses a soft focus and a medium shot to introduce us. She is beautiful but something is wrong. The woman appears dazed, maybe even drugged. She seems to have woken from a nightmare and realizes she is still living the nightmare. When she notices the flames licking up the walls she nearly yells out in terror, but then stops. Kurosawa gives us a close-up of the woman as she slowly smiles. The fire all around her is reflected in her eyes as she devilishly grins and then quietly lies back down. The samurai kill several bandits as they flee from the burning building unarmed. Just as they are about to make their get away the woman comes to the opening in the burning building. She is laughing at the carnage her captors have endured, when Rikiti sees her. This woman is his wife. He rushes to her against the commands of the others. Kurosawa, instead of using a series of close-ups to show the emotion of the scene, uses a single full shot of Rikiti and his wife to make the meaning of the scene our focal point. Rikiti’s wife sees him coming and turns and runs headlong into the flames. She is ashamed of what she has become. So much so that she destroys herself rather than live with the shame. I cannot help but wonder if Kurosawa may be drawing parallels to the young women seduced by American G.I.’s after the war. More importantly we see someone who believes that now that they have fallen out of their class position they cannot return. Self-destruction is the answer for the hopeless.

I could go on and on about the intricacies of the myriad of scenes and shots in this classic film. There are several techniques that Kurosawa uses in this film to add to the composition and content.

There are several shots where the focal characters are downtrodden and in despair. At these times Kurosawa films during heavy rain. The darkness and roar of the rain makes the situation seem more hopeless than any musical score could have done. Panning shots are used to add action to several shots of descending mobs. The descending mob has been used every since, even by George Lucas in Star Wars. Tracking shots are also used to give momentum to the shots with horses. This effect also allows for a great sight gag, where Kikutio tries to ride Yohei’s old horse. He charges off across the road and then is obscured by a long fence. The camera continues to track the unseen horse and when it emerges from the fence, it is being chased by a limping Kikutio. The entire village and the audience have a good laugh at Kikutio and the horse’s mutual stubbornness.

This film is a wonderful critique of the traditional caste system in Japan. Kurosawa gives this system credit for its usefulness in earlier times when he shows the villagers all sitting with their spears around the samurai like a pincushion. We see in later portions of the movie that ultimately the times change and this formula must change with it. We see how individually and socially this system does not translate successfully into these new times. I think that the final decision on what the new system should be is not given to us by Kurosawa. He asks us the question in the closing shot. We see Kambei and Katsusiro and the burial mounds of the dead heroes with dust blowing over them. The villagers sing while harvesting their fields. Life goes on and we must all decide individually what our place will be, because the old classes will never be able to mix. Ultimately we must all find our own place in helping our nation achieve success.

Fat Cat

2007-08-07T12:44:00.001-07:00

I don't like to post fluffy cute pictures.

This is just too unusual not to post.

Click the title to read the story from the UK's DailyMail.

Quick Quote

2007-08-07T12:01:00.001-07:00

After scolding one's cat one looks into its face and is seized by the ugly suspicion that it understood every word.
And has filed it for reference.
~Charlotte Gray.

Google Joins OIN. Score for Linux

2007-08-07T04:31:00.000-07:00

For those readers who are less 'tech' minded the announcement that Google has joined the Open Invention Network may not mean a lot. I'll try to elucidate.

From Googles own blog:

The concept behind OIN is simple. All OIN licensees, including participants such as IBM, Oracle, NEC and Sony, agree to cross-license their Linux-related patents to the others free of charge. Patent issues therefore become a much smaller concern inside the community, and OIN members can focus their energy on writing and releasing software rather than vetting their code for intellectual property issues. It's the legal equivalent of taking a long, deep breath.

Wow!

Not all of our readers may know this, but for the last couple of years the electronics and technology sectors of American industry have been staggering under the weight of 'patent lawsuits'. For consumers, this causes delays in new products and drives up the prices when there are shortages in parts.

For software things are a little different. Software is a tool. Can you imagine if you got used to working on your car with a set of wrenches and then found out that Micro$oft owned the 5/8ths wrench. You wouldn't be able to turn those nuts until there was a settlement requiring you to purchase Microsoft's version of the 5/8ths or, pay to upgrade the wrench you already have.

I am excited by the course Google is charting in this area and in the upcoming 700mhz range auction.

Follies From the Underbelly

2007-08-07T04:14:00.000-07:00

I have to point our readers to this blog I found. Follies From The Underbelly. It looks like a travel log. The photos are sumptuous and these foreign lands call out for adventurer's.

Yes I am a little jealous.

There are a couple of pictures of art that fall in the NSFW range for Americans.

No more 'First Class' (click here to see more great pictures)

2007-08-05T12:47:00.000-07:00

I wrote an email to Amtrak last year to express my concerns over their service and never received a response that was not automated.

The nations train stations are not the only place where we see a degradation of the standards our parents and grandparents came to expect when traveling. The news is full of reports about the not so friendly skies.

I am posting this email to add a voice to the disappointment that many people are feeling.

We can return to the days when "traveling" was part of the trip. When service meant a little luxury and a smile.

Part of the problem is that some moron decided that the customer was always right. That is ridiculous. Some people are wrong, some people are more trouble than they are worth as customers. If companies continue to pander to the inconsiderate and poorly mannered, then their employees will continue to be berated and punished for trying to offer good service and will give up.

I would pay more if I thought that I could take a train ride for 4 hours without having to get up for a drink and a sandwich.

It all starts with asking more from these companies and most importantly, treating service people with respect. Being angry and yelling at them will not improve their attitude or your experience.

And for those of you in charge of payroll; pay more, so you can expect more of these employees. It works at Disney. I have been to Disney Land and Disney World. I have never been disappointed with the service or atmosphere.

Now the email, about my experience, sent to Amtrak.

My wife and I have enjoyed riding the train on a couple of occasions and we have in the past recommended it to our friends. Unfortunately I may have to stop making that recommendation.

For the past 8 months we have enjoyed the company of a Danish exchange student and her friend. We have grown very close to her and tonight we had to get her and her friend to the 7:40 Southbound Train from Bellingham, Washington. As you can imagine, they each had some hefty suitcases, they were going all the way to Seattle and on to Denmark.

When we arrived I was dismayed to find that there were no carts to assist with luggage. When the train arrived, we found that coach needed to load about 30 yards from the exit on the station. Three gentleman wearing Amtrak uniforms got off the train and quickly began hustling people on to the train.

The girls weigh about 100 and 110 pounds. Juliane nearly fell off the steps to the train while attempting to get one of her bags on board. None of the train staff offered to help us. None of the train staff offered to help these very small women get on the train with their luggage. When I grabbed two of the bags and set them on the floor of the train, a uniformed Amtrak employee began yelling at me; demanding to know if I was "traveling today". I was amazed that this person (about 45-50 with Dishwater blonde hair and a beard) could yell at us when one of the girls was already crying and everyone else was on the train.

The agent and I were the only ones on the platform. I am very disappointed that I had to say goodbye to our international daughters under these circumstances.

I am utterly amazed that an industry and a company that was known by my parents and grandparents for its service and comfort, could produce what we encountered tonight. My view of traveling by rail may forever be tainted by this experience. I ask that Amtrak please return to the standards that helped train travel gain the mystique and feel of luxury for which it was once know.

Sincerely, Clayton Ray Randell

Practice Makes Perfect

2007-07-31T14:03:00.000-07:00

If you are wondering whether your kids play to many video games, you should watch this video.

Mar Adentro

2007-07-30T21:36:00.000-07:00

Until the lights were dimmed.
(Reflections on Mar Adentro)
By: Clayton Ray Randell
Published in the "Gathering of Voices" 2005

I entered the Pickford Theatre on Monday at 4pm, and sat in the small crimson room with only two other viewers. Both women were in their late forties, one large and blonde, the other small and dark haired. I turned to them as the doors were closed and said, “Well, it wont be hard to tell who is talking during the movie.” They laughed and we made small talk, until the lights were dimmed.

I entered the Pickford Theatre on Monday at 4pm, and sat in the small crimson room with my two views. Both are heartfelt, one is secular and personal, the other is Christian and dutiful. I turned to them as the doors were closed and said, “Well, it wont be hard to tell what my heart is saying after the movie.” I laughed to myself and changed the subject, until the lights were dimmed.

I entered the Pickford Theatre on Monday at 4pm, and sat in the small crimson room with two expectations. Both were selfish, one was scholarly and extra credit worthy, the other was emotional and painful. I turned to them as the doors closed and said, “Well, I hope I get a good grade and some closure.” I laughed uncomfortably to myself, and tried to focus on what I wanted to say in my paper, until the lights were dimmed.

I never entered the room that my grandfather was in, a small sterile room in a home up in Blaine, for two reasons. Both were difficult to express, one I couldn’t think about and the other I couldn’t forget. I turned to them as the doors closed and said, “Well, what did I miss and did I do something wrong.” I never laughed about what happened, and I tried not to focus on the subject, until the lights were dimmed.

My grandfather on my father’s side was a “gruff” individual. He never spoke to me when I was a child, and the earliest memory I have of him was walking into the bathroom on him when I was about six. When my cousins and I got to be in high school, we seemed to be old enough for him to start taking an interest in us. I of course was far to busy chasing skirts, drinking, and getting stoned to go visit, that “ornery old man”, so I never had any real relationship with him.

At my wedding, I was pretty busy. We had a small ceremony at my father’s house. All told we had about fifty guests. My grandfather was there and out of the blue decided to start talking to me. I was on my way to start the music, so that my fiancé and I could walk down the aisle, and start our new life together. Not exactly an opportune time to chat it up with that “ornery old man”, so I never had any chance to have a relationship with him before we moved to Hawai’i.

On our honeymoon, we were pretty liberated. We had sold almost everything we owned and flew to Hawai’i. What we still owned was under our arms or sitting on the sidewalk. We got a rental car and drove to a hotel that my grandfather told us about. Our room was so small I couldn’t get the door open without hitting the twin bed in the far corner. We had to crawl over our duffel bags to get into bed. There was a screen eighteen inches tall and as wide as the door, open to the hallway where some women was screaming on the payphone about how her babies daddy “won’t pay no child support”. The Neon sign attached to the front of the hotel was ten feet high and 18 inches from our window. Even with the blinds closed it was bright enough to read the directions on a bottle of aspirin. We tried to get some sleep. I woke up during the night with a two-inch cockroach walking across my chest. I swatted and heard it hit the wall and fall onto the floor. It flipped over and ran out under the hallway door. I thought, “I should have known better than to listen to that ‘ornery old man’, he is the cheapest man on the planet.” Not exactly how my wife and I wanted to spend our first night in paradise.

My dad called a few weeks later to tell me that my grandfather had been in an accident. He and my grandmother were on their way back from Mount Vernon and traffic was backed up. The fast lane cleared and my grandfather pulled into it, unaware that a State Trooper was screaming down that lane with his siren off and no flashing lights. His head hit the column between the front and rear drivers side windows. The swelling caused damage in parts of his brain and he went into a coma. When he awoke he was only my grandfather for a few moments a week, the rest of the time he spoke German or thought he was in a different time, and talking to different people.

We moved back to the states after two and a half months in Hawai’i. My grandfather lived for four more years and I never visited him. He was put in a home and visited by my father and my brother, but I couldn’t overcome my guilt. I couldn’t overcome my discomfort. I couldn’t overcome my fear of death. I couldn’t relate to that “ornery old man”. Until the lights dimmed.
Now that he is gone I can never know him, or what it was like to be as sharp as a tack one day and then unable to control my own thoughts the next. To be independent one day, and then convalescing the next. I got a sense however watching Javier Bardem. He is transformed from a solid Adonis in his twenties to a fifty year old quadriplegic, felled by an accident rather than Artemis.

I could not get my grandfather out of my head during the film. Would he have wanted to continue that way? Would I? You hope that a cure can be found, that someone would get better. Sadly, that is not the movie we get a ticket to when shuffling onto this mortal coil. Nor is it the one that awaits us at the end of our journey. The minute you’re born you begin the inevitable path to your own end.

That is definitely not the movie I got a ticket to on Monday at 4pm. The life unfulfilled, the life in torturous stillness. Unable to feel the world, trapped in a body that is dead with a mind that still lives. I have felt in the past that whether or not someone wanted to live or not was up to them. If you would help a quadriplegic get drunk and smoke because he can’t do it himself why not help him with his decision to go the distance with unhealthy behavior. Still, as a Christian I am faced with the knowledge that we all serve a purpose on this earth. That God has a plan for us even in our misery, because we do not exist for ourselves alone, but to serve others.

So did Ramon Sampedro selfishly give up the ghost because he was too weak to persevere? The New International Version Bible 2nd Corinthians verse 16 states, “Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17: For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18: So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

Or was Ramon Sampedro fulfilling his destiny. He brought his poetry and his voice to people and sacrificed himself for the belief that someone with no control over their physical lives should be allowed to make the ultimate decisions about their lives.

I went to that movie hoping to have an answer given to me. I thought that Rosa might talk him into living or that Julia’s strength in her degenerative disease would inspire him. Would Javier’s youth guide Ramon in seeking to guide Javier? Would Ramon’s father have sage advice for him and all of us? Would his brother’s own sacrifices convince him, or me? Would the wheelchair bound priest, show him the light? Maybe, I would sympathize with Ramon and concede totally that his friends had a responsibility to help him with his request. None of these things happened.

I laughed when Ramon and the priest traded jabs, I laughed when Ramon told Julia that he wanted her to come scratch an itch on his leg. But, I also sat in that theatre for two hours barely able to keep from sobbing out loud for those two ladies in the theatre to witness.
Ramon Sampedro said, that when others must take care of you that you learn to smile while you cry. I cried during the courtroom scene as he was denied a voice and he wore that same smile.

Ultimately I was left staring at Julia’s blank face. Both of us saying who is Ramon? Julia gave no answer. Gené herself pleaded with Ramon to stay. He left anyway. My grandfather left anyway.

To me Mar Adentro was the epilogue to Ramon’s book of poetry. A new verse to be read, to evoke our emotions, and illustrate a sample of someone’s life. Not give us answers. That is what art is after all. Even those who think they express some message through their art are
still left at the mercy of what others perceive. So like Ramon. Few could understand really how he felt and what his life was like. Yet people tried to force their opinions and feelings onto Ramon. You can experience the art, however understanding cannot be given.

Like Ramon Sampedro we must decide whether to drink of the nectar of life or sip 200 mg. of Cyanide Phosphate. Whether or not we should help someone to choose the latter is something I think that the individual must decide, and the courts and others can only interfere with.
Manuela captures the heart of it. She loved Ramon, and respected his wishes. She wanted him to be happy, and in the end, starring out at the sea within, I believe he was.

Haiku's

2007-07-30T13:14:00.000-07:00

It is far to nice a day for the staff to be writing serious work.

Today; Haiku

A new baby son,
He will eat and sleep and cry,
Then sunshine, he smiles.

Weight of butterfly,
Sound of a falling rain drop,
Daughter gives dad kiss.

Wide swift tiger paw,
Shower of giggling caught,
Tadpole likes jumping.

Great shining smoke beast,
Oil drips, dirty rubber rolls,
It moves, excitement.

Fear is all around,
Dropping hate, darkness and pain,
I turn the news off.

Electric sparkle,
Magnets pulling, arms wrapping,
Warm and soft is love.

Chocolate rose blossoms,
Blooms of vanilla ice cream,
And heaven has spoons.

White, clear and yellow,
Hard, soft, and, over-easy,
Before the chicken.

Hammer falls, lightning,
Wind rushes in, curses out,
Thumb is beating heart.

Drifting leaves fall down,
My hands become my fathers,
Winter is coming.

One word means something,
Another word means same thing,
Connotation thing.

Liquid moon dances-
Warm wind breathes between our lips,
forever for good.

Two wheels and two strokes,
Fright, laugh, smoke, wind and sunlight,
Chasing my shadow.

Refined, white and pure
Crystals spray out rainbow light,
Want one lump or two?

Billions and billions,
Insanity to count stars,
God named each of them.

Slimy grey goopy,
Writhing screeching new baby,
Hugged and kissed and loved.

Icy hand of death,
Reaching down from outer space,
Winter time is here.

First line has five words,
Next has seven syllables,
Oxyopia.

Bed is not made up,
Socks in the hall, dirty dish,
Wife takes holiday.

First number and next,
Heart pumps faster when third comes,
Sorry no gold ball.

A Bleeding knuckle,
Greasy hand turns nuts and bolts,
Awakens gas beast.

Little hand captures,
Tiny eyes hold me captive,
That’s baby power.

Electron makes jump,
Photon escapes million miles,
Five point three seconds.

Most explosive fuel,
Bunker miles away starts blast,
Five minutes to space.

Warm milk, soggy lumps,
Blank stare at television,
Saturday morning.

Frosting is to sweet,
Salmon is dry, music stale,
I hate long weddings.

Tight lute string will break,
Loose lute string will not sing out,
Learn moderation.

Cavemen on ABC

2007-07-26T10:01:00.000-07:00

Wow! I just watched the preview for the upcoming Cavemen on ABC and they are very funny. I have enjoyed watching the Geico commercials. Juxtaposing a Cro-Magnon man against an angst filled hipster makes for a lot of great gags and smart humor. It remains to be seen whether the 30 second commercial spots will translate into a season long episodic format. The previews, however are very funny. The actors; Sam Huntington (Jimmy from Superman Returns), Bill English and Ivan Allen (West Wing) have great delivery and bring an amazing amount of personality to characters that all look alike.

So stay tuned to ABC.

BMX Birthday

2007-07-23T15:18:00.001-07:00

By: Clayton Ray Randell

As a Pisces, my birthday falls in early spring. My sixth birthday brought a fantastic gift for a child cloistered inside for much of the winter; a BMX bike.

All previous modes of transportation paled in comparison to this sleek & shiny vehicle. I knew I would be careening down the sidewalk into a much bigger world.

The image of Elliot, E.T. and his friends rocketing through the air was still fresh in my mind. With unbridled excitement I mounted my aluminum and rubber steed, and promptly crashed into the ground.

My father in his wisdom had purposely acquired a bike that was too tall for me to reach the ground with both feet. Being a veteran motorcycle rider he new that the only way to go was fast. In all endeavors he instructed me to not drag my feet.

I tried unsuccessfully for a week to prop myself up on the bike against the piano in our living room. I suppose now that my Dad was building my anticipation. Finally one frozen morning, he took me to the park.

Once there he set me out on my own. Cornwall Park has several paved paths. Somehow, I do not recall having difficulty getting started. I began pedaling and wheeling around the park.

My Dad, satisfied I needed no help had climbed back into the van to stay warm.

I made several passes and on one turn, as I was coming back by I hit a patch of ice and went down. When I looked up to my fathers face in the window he was laughing. I was as angry as a three foot child could be. I got up and ran to the side of the van. He was still laughing. I jumped up and down. I am sure my little voice was providing as vile a tirade as a six year old has the vocabulary for, when I fell where I stood on another patch of ice.

Finally my Dad got out. With the hint of a smirk still on his face, he informed me why he was laughing. He was proud of me and amazed about how I had fallen. When my bike slid out from under me, I had swung up onto the frame and rode out the crash on top of it. My Dad was stunned that I had instinctively done what he did on his motorcycle when in a slide. Besides that, I know an enraged kindergartner can be pretty humorous in itself.

With my bike and my father’s tutelage I travelled much of western Whatcom County, long before the arrival of helmets and pads.

Want to drive a Warthog

2007-07-23T12:27:00.000-07:00

I may not be the worlds biggest Halo fan, but I know bad a$$ when I see it. Let me introduce you to the fully functional four wheel driving and steering Warthog. It is full size and driving around the WETA workshops and warehouses as we speak.

Hee-Hee; it gives me the giggles. I want to drive over the neighbors fence with it and do brodies on my Dads front pasture.

Why would you want one of the watered down H3's when you could probably get one of these made for an extra 10 grand.

If you have not seen the short film with live action Halo 3 scenes I suggest that you watch it now. Even if you don't know anything about Halo 3 it is Sweet!

Optimus Prime

2007-07-22T13:30:00.000-07:00

Another cake for geeks, from urbanretrolifestyle.com. Check out the site if you would like to make your own.

Short Story

2007-07-22T13:20:00.000-07:00

By: Clayton Ray Randell

Out Of Thin Air

You don’t realize what cold weather is on Earth. At night on frosty ground you can feel a chill creep into your joints. What you are feeling in the dull ache of your bones is outer space. An icy hand of death pressing down through the atmosphere. It’s all about stillness. Space has slowed since the “Big Bang”. The very atoms have lost the oscillations we know as heat energy.

Like an invisible frozen ether it rolls across the planes of my new home. The thin air is unable to support life. Even if I could take off my helmet and keep from freezing, the lack of air pressure would cause my blood to boil to the surface. No fear of that though; the noxious atmosphere would choke you to death before that.

When did this all start. Surely back on Earth. That is where humans came from. Foggy memories are all that is left. Sent here at ten years old. My parents had procreated without a license. After years of hiding we were discovered during a trip to the emergency room. I had been bullied in the street by other kids and knocked down. They told me I talked funny.

Arriving at the hospital we were asked to be genetically identified. My father gave them our I.D. cards but the clerks insisted. Security stepped out from doorways all around us and my mother started to cry. Blood was drawn from all of us. Not that they had to draw it from me there was plenty seeping from a rent in my forehead.

My D.N.A. was unlicensed. Unpaid for. Several of my genes had been mapped by Monsanto and patented. So were everyone’s D.N.A strands. The whole complex bio-organism of Earth catalogued and invested in. My parents D.N.A belonged to them before the patent was issued. Grandfathered into the law. I however was in violation. My very life a theft from a multinational company. Two options lay before me; imprisonment for life or deportation.

Only one place left to be deported to. Global economy had created global rule. Moon bases and orbitals were all property of some company affiliated with all the rest. My only refuge was Mars. I am contractually obligated to pay for my voyage out here with twenty years of labor. My family was told it would only be five years but eventually everyone is escorted to the airlock during the trip out and asked to sign for fifteen more or disembark. So far no one opted to float endlessly in space. So here we are, thousands of children.

Despite the dependence on our masters we enjoy a strange freedom here that was not available on Earth. Earth has become a see of identical faces. Everyone is pressured to conform. The newscasters and sitcom stars speak the same cultivated English and are echoed by the captive T.V. watchers. People, who are too frightened to be alone and too scared to go outside, work continuously to mimic the monotone patterns of speech they see and read everyday. No one dares to stand out for fear of ridicule or censure. The madness is so pervasive that people are beaten by neighbors if they complain using taboo words like oppression, control or denial.

Without the freedom of words there is no freedom of the soul. There is no creation or emotion. Language is the programming for our brain. If someone controls the input so do they control the output.

Here on Mars we are all considered misfits and freaks. Our slang is considered poor upbringing. Our art is ignored as mad scribbling. The only true human culture left is toiling away on a world that at every turn is willing to freeze it, pop it or irradiate it. Yet we are freer than those at home.

Someday the Earth will pass into extinction. Strangled to death by the greed and intolerance of an elite few. All that will remain of humanity will be the bastard children of the brave, scrawling paintings on cave walls and writing poetry in red sand.

Martha Stewart; good enough to eat

2007-07-22T13:05:00.000-07:00

Check out the new cover of Wired magazine. This is my second favorite Stewart. That Wii is a cake by the way.

From Engadget; the best tech blog in the business.

If you want to know what is going on in the world that has anything to do with technology or science get a subscription to Wired magazine. All the successful people I know that work in tech read it.

St. Vincent's

2007-07-21T13:30:00.000-07:00

It was early in the morning on a brisk October day. I had just awoke next to my pregnant wife and was considering beginning my daily routine for work.

My wife's routine was a bit more immediate in the mornings as it was controlled by a baby pressing down on her bladder. As my loving and distended mate began the laborious process of heaving herself to a vertical position, she made a noise. The noise sounded very much like it was from another language, something from the Philippines maybe. Despite the apparent incoherence of the utterance I new it's exact meaning.

"I am leaking." She says. As amused as she was surprised.

My wife shuffled quickly to the bathroom so she could stand in the shower.

Large drops of fluid were hitting the bottom of our cramped plastic tub. "Thwap" "Splatter" "Pat-pat"

My mom had been staying with us in our tiny apartment in a 70's dark brown building. She was hoping to be around for just this event. Now that it was here she began this odd sort of 'jig'. Running about packing, unpacking, fretfully considering out loud the implications & then joyfully proclaiming every other minute. "We're having a baby!"

When my mom had come close enough to reality we left.

My automobile at the time was a black 1985 Cadillac Eldorado. Despite what a horrible car it was to own; I was very satisfied that this 'Beast' of a vehicle would be unstoppable on its way to the hospital.

After being admitted to a huge birthing suite, we began earnest waiting.

A menagerie of soothing, if obligatory, nurses percolated in and out of the room, until the arrival of our midwife.

A tall blonde women blocked the entrance to the room. Almost before I noticed her she had surveyed our fuchsia colored room. My wife's panting and groaning, coupled with the uncharacteristic muttering of curses had an anaesthesiologist in our room in minutes.

The blue gowned man came in and deftly administered the drugs. He said nothing and made no expressions until the drugs hit. My wife was holding onto me tightly despite her unfriendly mood. When the medicine had indeed killed the pain, she made a moan that caused a couple of faces in the room to blush.

The wonder doctor simply turned up the edges of his gray moustache into a smile and said. " There, all better."

The next several hours contained a lot of grunting and hollering. The noise however is nothing compared to the odors. Sweat, tears, blood. My wife even managed to vomit almost ten feet. I wont go into gory detail, but with the epidural, we interacted with every fluid in the body that day.

Finally with one last gush, out plopped the one absolute love in my life, Her misshapen head, swollen eyes, blue skin and pungent sticky outer slick were the most beautiful thing I had seen. Worthy of many kisses, the counting of toes and more kissing. The cheers of family are present on video. My memory contains only the cry of my daughter and her first breathes.

She is now pink and perfect and smells always like lotion and cookies. I smile daily at the thought of her.

Maya Angelou

2007-07-19T20:19:00.000-07:00

I recently saw Maya Angelou in a movie and was inspired to dig up this essay I wrote a while back and post it here.

Clayton Ray Randell
English 101 Section Q
November 25, 2003
In-Class Essay #2

Reflective Essay On Maya Angelou’s “Graduation”

Maya Angelou is one of the more profound humans I have read or listened to. In her Essay “Graduation” she discusses her experience with abject and insidious racist treatment. The way in which someone can reinforce a bad situation or opinion by careless and thoughtless words is made obvious. The roots I believe are ignorance and fear. A proud group of people is cast down by an authority figure who cares little for them individually. I believe this is a serious offense, and the solution is understanding and love.

The start of the essay lays a foundation for the event. We are drawn into the excitement of the people in Angelou’s essay. Not just the excitement of the students who are going to participate in graduation. The entire community turns out to show their respect and support. The proud parents dress in fine clothes and outfit their children likewise. The children are given gifts. Angelou receives a watch from her parents and a book from her brother. The other students also receive gifts and favors from family and peers alike. These are symbols of the givers dreams.

Maya Angelou shares her personal experience as she awakens the morning of graduation to receive a very special gift,
“I hoped the memory of that morning would never leave me. Sunlight was itself young…I gave myself up to the gentle warmth and thanked God that no matter what evil I had done in my life He had allowed me to live to see this day” (35).
Her family goes on to have a full and lavish breakfast in celebration, and in preparation for the event have closed their store and put on their finest threads. Her mother had specially prepared Angelou’s dress. Hours went into embroidery and crocheted cuffs. When the dress was finished others told Maya she looked like “…a Sunbeam in it” (35).

The first portent of trouble in the essay comes as Angelou nears the auditorium with her family. She is suddenly struck by a sense that things are not right. As she climbs the stairs to her school she is greeted by her fellow classmates and soothed by their presence. Feeling better she remarks on how great everyone looks. This connection with her group how it overcomes her fear, also comes into play later in the graduation.

The graduation proceeds normally at first. Suddenly the rhythm is thrown by an intrusion. The guest speaker has arrived in a hurry and the school is forced to accommodate. The leader of the school, Principal Parsons is forced to draw his speech to a close and introduce Mr. Edward Donleavy. Encroaching on the stage two white men appear. One stands before them and the other takes the seat of the town’s minister. I was struck by how well Maya Angelou made their entrance feel almost like an assault before Donleavy even speaks. When he does open his mouth that is when the audience to the essay and the graduation are shown one of the ways in which racism attacks hopes and dreams. Not by outright condemnation of a people, rather by the denial of their opportunities. Donleavy relegates Angelou’s classmates, and by extension her town and her race, to menial tasks. He allows no heroes for them other than Jesse Owens and Joe Louise. Angelou feels at that moment that the monologue reveals her people to be less than equal to this authority. Donleavy even mentions the better off white school nearby and all that they have. Equipment and buildings and teachers provided by his help. He promises in no subtle way that with the town of Stamps votes, he may get them some of the things they need, but only to help them produce more athletes or farmers. Her recounting his plea for votes is an indictment in itself when coupled with his lack of understanding to their true needs.

Angelou is so angry at the denial of other possibilities for her classmates that she is overcome with hate. I like how she reflects the influence in the society that produces someone like Donleavy. Her account of bilious feelings towards the whole of humanity out of hatred spurred by oppression are very palpable. Often people are overwhelmed with negative feelings towards the wholesome or institutionalized aspects of their society when the connections are drawn together with the misdeeds of society. Misdeeds like fear, ignorance and hate. This leads to graffiti, to riots, and to assassinations. It leads also to violent thoughts.

Angelou illustrates this pain and darkness by sharing her thoughts. The darkness fills the room as participants sit captive by tradition and are demoralized. She wishes for all the races of the world to die, lying bodies upon bodies. Not just of the white folks either, she is consumed by anger towards her own race and others. She is so overcome that she does not even get up until prompted, to retrieve the diploma that the whole town had been waiting for. This illustrates just how worthless the diploma and all the effort behind it had suddenly become to the students.

As quickly as the interlopers had come they were off. Likely they were heading to what they thought was a more important graduation. Angelou remarks, “The ugliness they left was palpable. (38)” Her mood leaves her rebutting the words of other speakers who try to champion the individuality and possibilities of the graduating classes. Even today I see this behavior. There was a time when the African American art form of rap had something to say. Feelings of oppression and anger, of loneliness and despair, hope and aspiration were detailed and expressed in poetic verse. Now there are few who use the medium to communicate. More and more, tortured facsimiles of the English language are used to lift up greed and violence, while pushing down women and community. Since there is little control over their lives some would force oppression and violence right down the line. This ends up on other races, on women, on each other.

Maya Angelou gives us the antidote for these issues. The tide is turned by the recitation and singing of the Negro National Anthem. Maya Angelou is reminded of the connection to others by the words,
“We have come over a way that with tears has been watered, We have come, treading our path through the blood of the slaughtered. (40)”

Reminded of how far people can come and with strength and perseverance the group is raised again to their feet. Credit is due to those who inspire us, who remind us, who share with us, and support us. Credit is due to those who bring heartache and pain, as well as joy and celebration of the human experience to others. Paintings, poems, music and stories are powerful ways to communicate the connections that we all share. It is vital for all men and all women to endeavor to relate to their fellow man, if for no other reason than to understand themselves better. Maya Angelou carries this theme on in much of her work. Interviews with Oprah I found to be very enlightening. Angelou’s grace in the face of the experiences of her life, are an inspiration.

Angelou, Maya “Graduation” Fields Of Reading. Ed. Nancy R. Comely Et. Al.
Bedford/St. Martins; New York, 2001. 31-36.

Goshen, Amitav “The Ghosts Of Mrs. Ghandi” Fields Of Reading. Ed. Nancy R. Comely
Et. Al. Bedford/St. Martins; New York, 2001. 119-131.

Grealy, Lucy “Mirrors” Fields Of Reading. Ed. Nancy R. Comely Et. Al. Bedford/St.
Martins; New York, 2001. 50-63.

George Orwell Site. K-1 Internet Publishing. George Orwell 1903-1950. 24th November 2003. < HYPERLINK "http://www.k-1.com/Orwell/index.cgi/work/essays/fun.html" http://www.k-1.com/Orwell/index.cgi/work/essays/fun.html>.

Oprah Winfrey. O Magazine Website. Oprah’s Cut With Maya Angelou. December
2000. 24 Nov. 2003 .

Orwell, George “Shooting An Elephant” Fields Of Reading. Ed. Nancy R. Comely Et.
Al. Bedford/St. Martins; New York, 2001. 132-138.

Tan, Amy “Mother Tongue” Fields Of Reading. Ed. Nancy R. Comely Et. Al.
Bedford/St. Martins; New York, 2001. 77-82.

Willet, Jincy “Under The Bed” Fields Of Reading. Ed. Nancy R. Comely Et. Al.
Bedford/St. Martins; New York, 2001. 654-661.

Blog for the Ladies

2007-07-19T08:43:00.000-07:00

A gal I went to school with has got a great blog you should check out. It is called CrankMama. She has an article about a place that designs websites and blogs called E.Webscapes. They designed CrankMama and have a great portfolio, definitely worth a look. I would love for my blog to be more like hers, only a little more manly.

Hell On Earth

2007-07-18T11:14:00.000-07:00

This Essay was published in Gathering of Voices in 2003.

Clayton Ray Randell
English 101 Section Q
October, 30 2003
In Class Persuasive Essay/Mid-Term-----(1,007 words)

Hell On Earth

“One of evil’s principal modes of being is looking beyond (with indifference) that which is before the eyes” (Berger 596). On August 6th 1945, evil was unleashed on the citizens of Hiroshima by President Truman. Are there reasons for creating terror on such a scale? I do not believe America or any other country can justify the use of nuclear weapons.

John Berger in his essay “Hiroshima” discusses the situation in Japan after the dropping of two atomic bombs on the cities of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Using excerpts of personal testimony from victims, Berger illustrates the horror of atomic weapons. The scale of death, disfigurement and pain created in Hiroshima and Nagasaki are unequaled in human history. When confronted by the stories of children burned and crying over their dead parents, I was struck by an overwhelming sorrow. The tales of peoples skin falling away made my stomach turn in disgust. Yet there are those that assert there was no other answer to the situation the United States was in. The war in the South Pacific was hard fought and thousands of U.S. soldiers lost their lives. Japan had attacked first at Pearl Harbor and destroyed much of the Navy’s fleet. America’s forces were far from home and vulnerable. Perhaps Japan’s immediate surrender may have saved more lives overall than were lost in the firestorm of the atomic bomb.

There has been much discussion about the decision to drop these weapons labeled “Fat Man” and “Little Boy”. Was it appropriate to drop them on civilians living in their homeland? Were American lives saved by the destruction of these cities and subsequent surrender of the Japanese? In William L. Laurence’s essay “Atomic Bombing Of Nagasaki Told By Flight Member” he shares with some pride that the “gadget” (247) as he affectionately calls the atomic bomb, could release the blast force of twenty to forty thousand tons of TNT. Laurence also states that the endeavor to create the bombs was the greatest effort of human intellect in history (247). The members of the flight crew aboard the plane that dropped the bomb on Nagasaki were of the opinion that no nation could withstand such an assault for long. This was obviously true as Japan surrendered with little delay after the attack.

Was it possible that America would have been defeated by the Japanese had we not developed the atomic bomb in time. Berger’s stance is that this question and others like it are irrelevant. Despite arguing the statistics and possibilities the fact remains, what occurred in Japan was evil. These two acts of premeditated mass murder were perpetrated on two large cities populated by civilians. The heart of the mushroom cloud “was 300,000 degrees centigrade” (592). Thousands died in a flash of light while others had their flesh scalded. The American Military targeted people who were not fighting in their Emperor’s war. Berger asserts that under any other circumstances these two attacks would be openly classified as “terrorist acts” (595). The United Nations has decrees stating that an attacking force cannot target civilians or civilian infrastructure. Why would the United Nations have such decrees? Because, these atrocities are unconscionable.
How could the American people accept the bombings? Reading over the straight statistics that have been gathered, one does not realize the impact on the lives of an entire nation. When perusing the accounts of the technical aspects of the bombs, one does not see the loss of humanity both physically and philosophically. People are insulated from the realities of war here in America. Few Americans have seen the results of machine gun fire or anti-tank missiles. During World War II people were quite happy to do their patriotic part with little thought as to what our armed forces were doing.

In Zoë Tracy Hardy’s account in “What Did You Do In The War Grandma?” she explains how she very naively participated in the construction of the planes that carried the two atomic bombs to Japan. Hardy and her compatriots at the time were excited about helping in the war effort. They were diligent and worked long hours at the factory. Most of her friends were elated when the war was declared at an end. Zoë Tracy Hardy however was downcast by the realization that she was involved in such destruction. Hardy asks if delivering such destruction to a nation that was on its way to losing “…wasn’t sort of like kicking a dead horse---brutally” (145).

My opinion about nuclear weapons is one of many. There are those that believe the end of communism came through the bankruptcy of the Soviet Union in the arms race. Others say that the deterrence of total annihilation kept the nations of the world from battling each other to destruction. I feel the reality is that no person can make the decision to destroy without inviting evil into his or her heart. No one can murder without accepting that some people do not deserve to live. It is impossible to fight evil with evil, as it only multiplies itself. Love comes from understanding and communication. The absence of love is hate which springs from fear and ignorance. The people of Earth must exchange ideas and goods. The moral arena of politics often has little to do with real ethics. If we can keep hold of our leaders hearts and minds we will not be a party to such evil again.

Berger, John “Hiroshima” Fields Of Reading. Ed. Nancy R. Comely Et. Al. Bedford/St. Martins, 2001. 590-596.

Hardy, Zoë Tracy “What Did You Do In The War Grandma?” Fields Of Reading. Ed. Nancy R. Comely Et. Al. Bedford/St. Martins, 2001. 139-146.

Hersey, John. “Hatsuyo Nakamura” Fields Of Reading. Ed. Nancy R. Comely Et. Al. Bedford/St. Martins, 2001. 203-211.

Laurance, William L. “Atomic Bombing Of Nagasaki Told By Flight Member” Fields Of Reading. Ed. Nancy R. Comely Et. Al. Bedford/St. Martins, 2001. 247-252.

Hawai'i

2007-07-16T07:45:00.000-07:00

The following is from an essay I wrote years ago. It is amateur and needs some corrections, however the flaws reflect the author at the time it was written.

Clayton Ray Randell
English 101 Section Q
November 28th 2003
Assignment #3

Reflections On The South Pacific

My wife and I decided to move to Hawaii while we were on a trip there. A year later we arrived on the Big Island of Hawaii. We learned a lot about the world and ourselves in Hawaii. There are memories of things we will cherish and lessons we will never forget. Ultimately we realized that we could not stay.

In October of 1999, my girlfriend Lena and I were in Maui. Lena’s uncle Kevin paid for us to fly down from Washington for a cousin’s wedding. It was on the beach facing the Island of Lanai with the sun setting on the sea, we watched this young couple tie the knot.

A couple of days later Lena and I went to a sandy beach just south of the wedding site and went swimming. We were getting tan already. The experience that week was so great we were absolutely tranquil. The sun was warm and bright above us. The breezes were fresh and fragrant. Lena swam by me and I grabbed her. We swirled around in the small waves together. As we gazed at each other it was obvious that we were each looking at someone very special. The best part was we both knew it. Without saying a word we had connected on a level neither of us had ever experienced before. I nearly opened my mouth to ask her to marry me when I realized I did not have a ring. After our swim we had a great day sightseeing. Later on we enjoyed a sumptuous dinner at a fancy restaurant and then headed back to our hotel. As we passed mile marker 14 on the highway Lena turned the car off into the sand. Getting out of the car I realized that we were at the same beach where we had been earlier. The sun had set and in it’s place was an enormous and luminous moon. This heavenly body shone down on us and glinted off the warm waters. The smell of Plumeria wafted down to us from the hills as we sat down in the soft powdery sand. We were sitting quietly staring off into the distance when Lena began to cry. She put her delicate hand in mine and looked up at me with her golden brown eyes, welling up now with tears. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a small object. The moonshine reflected off the ring and off Lena’s tears as they rolled down her cheeks. She started sobbing as she choked on the words, “Will you marry me?”

I took her shoulders in my arm, looked deep into her eyes and said, “Of course I will sweetheart.”

When I had been on the verge of asking her earlier that day I had stopped because I did not have a ring. Lena also was going to ask me at that same moment but she had left the ring at the hotel. Sneaky girl, she had bought one a couple of weeks before and was waiting for the right time. I can still conjure the image of her tearfully asking me to be with her forever, just as I can picture her gazing up at me from the sun soaked sea with her wet hair and beautiful smile. It was the same smile she was wearing the day I met her ten years ago.

The decision to live in Hawaii was made that week. Blue Hawaiian’s were drunk and coconut shrimp were eaten. We got a lot of sun and a lot of fresh air before we left, but it did not last us after we got home. The bug had infected us and we dreamed of going back. We began planning our return in conjunction with planning our wedding.

During that year we began getting our things in order to leave. We also started to inform our families about our decision and got a flood of opinions in return. My Dad said it would be a life experience. My mother said she would love to live there someday and that she would really miss us. My in-laws did not want us to go because it was too far away. Lena’s siblings were excited to have a place to stay in Hawaii. As soon as Lena’s grandmother heard we were moving, she told us we would be back.

Despite the varying opinions everyone wished us luck, especially at our wedding. We decided to have our ceremony ten days before we departed. We had saved as much money as we could and decided on a small wedding. If we had not seen a relative more than once the previous year, they were not invited. Only our most special friends and relatives were to come. About fifty siblings, parents and grandparents sat together in my father’s living room. It was short and sweet, with a very emotional speech from my sister in-law.

La Conner, Washington was a great place to have our first night as a married couple. Because of our limited luggage space the guests at our wedding were asked to bring gifts that would fit in an envelope. We were not disappointed. When all the money we had received was laid out on the bed it was enough to roll around in. The remainder of our honey moon was spent visiting people we new we would not see for awhile once we left for our new land.

Lena and I had considered which island to live on very carefully. There are really only three islands to choose from unless you are retiring and do not need to find work. Maui is beautiful and has wonderful snorkeling spots. However it is a relatively small island. There are many opportunities to find work on Oahu, but it is so populated that we might as well live in Seattle. We were left with the big island. It is large enough that we would not run out of things to do. Work was probable there as well, especially since Lena majored in Geography and wanted to work at the volcano observatory.

The flight was uneventful as we traveled to Hawaii on September 20th, 2000. Standing in front of the terminal in Hawaii midday we had all of our worldly possessions with us. The whole of our material existence was enclosed in two large duffel bags and two backpacks. This included some clothes and toiletries. An electric keyboard was our only luxury besides our snorkel gear. I will never forget the feeling of liberation. We could go anywhere and do anything. We had nothing holding us down to any location; no car, no house, no children or bills. Our path was at our own discretion.

Where do we go? At our wedding my grandfather mentioned a place that he and my grandmother had stayed while they were on a trip once. What I should have remembered about my grandpa is that he squeezes nickels till the buffalo cries. The guy is tighter than the skin on a sausage. After renting a car we headed for the hotel he had recommended. It was after dark when we arrived at the hotel. Upon entering through the front door we were greeted by swarms of far off locations depicted on postcards wherever there was room on the walls amongst the stuffed animal heads and bug displays. An overly sweaty man gave us our key and we headed up the stairs.

Our first night was one you do not forget. The room we were in was eight feet by six feet. I was unable to set our luggage on the floor and still open the door. A red glow was coming in our window and when I pulled the blind I was staring directly at the hotels 10-foot neon sign hanging not more than eighteen inches away. The glare was so bright even with the blinds pulled, that I could read by it. Undaunted we got into bed. Moments later the screaming began. Out in the hallway was a payphone. It was necessary to have a phone out in the hallway, as there were no phones in the rooms. One of the other patrons of the hotel was arguing and complaining with someone about how they were having a hard time getting welfare checks because of their 'baby's daddy' being in prison. At first I did not understand why this women’s voice was so loud until I looked above the door. A two-foot screen was above each door in the hotel. Anyone with a small stool or a box could easily look in on us. Despite the hour long rant on the phone we eventually got to sleep. Around one in the morning I was awakened by something. As I became conscious I could clearly see by the neon light, a two-inch cockroach crawling across my chest. I swatted it off of me and could hear its body hit the wall and then the floor. Un-phased by my assault, the cockroach immediately ran along the wall and under our door. The ordeal that night so upset my wife we decided to call home from a phone up the street. The next day we started looking for a new place to stay.

Sitting in an empty bar the following day I was getting drunk at our new hotel. Uncle Billy’s in Hilo is a fabulous place to sit inebriated and read a book. I felt a little like Hemingway. Soaking up alcohol and sun in a tropical clime. For a cheap hotel the ambiance was not that bad. The courtyard had a lot of noisy birds chattering and squawking from sun up to sun down. The kitchenette in our room was saving us a lot of money since we were not going out to eat all the time. Uncle Billy’s was our base of operations while we searched for jobs and a house to rent.

Renting a house or apartment in Hawaii is not the same as it is in Washington. We were told by a couple of rental agencies that we would have to fill out a credit application for every house or apartment we were interested in and then wait 3-14 days for the O.K. from the owner, just to view the place. It was obvious to me that we were getting the run around. When Lena and I would walk into these places they would look up at us and then go back to whatever they were doing. We had to actually knock on the counter to get help, and the help we got was from irritated natives. The situation we were caught in is that we had to pay Uncle Billy’s $400 a week while we waited two-weeks just to see a place and there was no guarantee that we would be approved. Most people would have been at a loss, but we kept at it.

In the meantime we did our best to familiarize ourselves with the surrounding and get our licenses. The process to get a license was not difficult; we filled out a form and turned in our Washington licenses. The clerk at the DMV asked us if we wanted to register to vote with our applications. Checking a box on the form was apparently all that was needed. Since the 2000 election was approaching I was excited to get registered.

Now that we had local licenses we could apply for “kamaaina” rates. This is a discount from car rentals, airlines and grocery stores. It is for residents and since we were determined to be just that Lena and I took full advantage. It helped us out a lot since our funds were getting low. Another bonus cash wise was the local farmers market. Every Wednesday and Friday the local farmers and hippies would get together and sell their wares. You could get star fruit and fish, jewelry and clothes and lizards and baked goods. These little kids would walk around trying to sell the scads of bumpy reptiles that were crawling all over them.

When we weren’t at the market we were trying to find work. Lena was shut out of the Volcano Observatory. They told her that hundreds of applications were received every month and that it would be a year before they would consider her. I did not fair much better. The unemployment office was very polite, especially when they explained to me that I was not likely to be able to find work since people tended to hire family members. This is convenient since most of the natives consider each other cousins in some way or another. That pretty much meant that a white kid like me was out of luck. I am glad for their honesty though. They could have sent me to work where I was not welcome and risked my neck.

I eventually found work at Sears in the mall. I was assigned by a former Oregonian to work with a former Californian supervisor in the warehouse. I was to handle bedding. The work was all right for a start. I enjoy organizing things and working with my hands. The problem was that all the rest of the employees were natives and I was not. Generally my coworkers were not in my way. They were however, not the least bit helpful in answering questions or helping me out. Usually they would roll their eyes, making fun of me in pigeon English and local slang. When they did talk to me it was as though I was five years old and mentally handicapped. I do not think it was patronizing, I think they genuinely felt I was just another dumb white boy or “haole”.

I was riding my Wal-Mart bike 3 miles to work and 3 miles home every day. The exercise was great and it normally only rained just before lunch. Looking up at the mountain in the morning was a real treat. Crisp golden colors were accentuated by the texture and curves of the rocks and trees on the hills. This display of gorgeous scenery kept alive my hope for this island despite where my ride took me every morning. My ride started from our new apartment in the middle of town.

After three weeks we made a last ditch effort at a complex called Waimea Village. This place was willing to take us on a days notice. When we moved in and started to look around we found out why. One of the buildings had burned to the ground a couple years earlier and the ruins of the foundation were still visible. The building across the aisle from ours was closed. Part of the structure had fallen down due to rot and was uninhabitable. When we had a rainstorm our apartment drowned in a half-inch of standing water in the bedroom.
Living on top of each other with no T.V. was an experience for Lena and me. Both of us learned a lot about what the other one liked or did not like. Most importantly we learned a great deal about what we wanted personally. We grew and matured more in the two months we spent in Hawaii than in the two years we had already known one another.

One jaunt we took into the inner island saw us to a great gaping maw in the hills. A steep stairwell carried us down thirty feet into what was the front porch to a course of underground pathways. In Hawaii’s turbulent volcanic past floods of lava stories thick and wide ran down the slopes to the sea. When the outer edges of the flow hardened, it enclosed a torrent of raging magma. When Mauna Loa ceased heaving pools of molten rock, the lava in these shells of crust ran out and left tubes and tunnels. Carefully picking our way over the rubble we made our way into the cave. Forty meters was all the farther we could go. Without flashlights we would not be able to see. Luck was on our side this day, for just as we were climbing back out a whole troop of grade-schoolers came bouncing down the stairs. These cheerful cherubs and their teacher were more than happy to share their light with us. All thirty kids seemed to either be experts in caves or new explorers of them. We had our own tour guides and surveyors with us as we plied the depths. When we had spelunked hundreds of feet the teacher informed his students that they were going to be part of an experiment. He reached into his backpack and pulled out several cylindrical objects and handed them to his helpers. They each broke the cylinders and began passing out the contents to everyone else. When they got to Lena and me it was agreed that there were enough to go around and we each were given a minty Wint-O-green Lifesaver. The flashlights were all put out and we were thrown into utter darkness. Lena and I held hands to be sure we were facing one another and bit our candies. Far below the surface we ferreted out the truth behind a rumor. You do see a spark when you bite a lifesaver in the dark. Besides the important scientific work we did that day we saw just how fun it was going to be to have kids of our own. I also learned that love grows in tiny increments; a shared smile, a moment holding hands, laughing with children and seeing sparks in the dark.

November was fast approaching and I started to wonder where my voter registration card was. I eventually went to city hall to find out what the hold up was. Apparently when I filled out my license application I filled in my P.O. Box number for my address. I was not informed by the clerk who took the form nor was I informed by mail or phone call that my application needed a physical address. After waiting for hours to get things straightened out the bottom line was, even if I did get it fixed I would not be eligible in time to vote in the next election. I sat in disgust and watched George Junior buy the election without having the opportunity to even cast a vote. Upon talking to a local activist and political organizer I found out that unprocessed voter registration applications were not unusual. In fact many of the ones that came from his Green Party headquarters disappeared. Each of the applications that came to him from the local government had numbers indicating the location where they were filled out making it all to easy to single them out.

Being singled out became a regular occurrence for Lena and I. We would get stink-eye when traveling around the island. Stink-eye is a stare you get from the locals when you are somewhere they don’t want you. We would get the stare at beaches and trails. Even in grocery stores we would have people grunt at us. Once in a video store Lena was nearly pushed down by someone bumping in to her. The message was clear to us.
Two-months into our adventure we were faced with a decision; our funds were getting low, either we went back to the states now or we would be stuck in Hawaii. After much deliberation we decided that we could have succeeded in Hawaii, it just was not worth it. We made plans to be back home for Christmas. I stopped going to my job and we spent the last two weeks enjoying the sights.

We went swimming with dolphins and turtles in the sea. We visited the Waikoloa Hilton in Kona, where the rooms start at $250 and end at $15 grand a night. Lava flows were also on our list of sights. Renting a GMC Jimmy we drove to a remote corner of the island. After two hours of driving, the road ended. The pavement ran smooth and straight right until it wentb under huge black pillows of lava rock.

The man with no fingers was waiting there. He was a scientist from Ireland who also wanted to visit the lava flows. He had rented a Camaro and it was not capable of traveling over the loose rock and debris. Since he looked harmless enough and was terribly polite we offered him a ride. A full hour passed while we crossed the expanse of broken rock. There came a point when we simply could not get any farther. The clear sky was reaching twilight. Seeing in the distance an orange glow we clambered out of our Jimmy and started walking.

The diversity of rock that we saw was unbelievable. Rivulets and ridges of black and gray stone twisted and contorted all around us. Fissures and mounds surrounded us for miles. The whole scene became extraterrestrial once the darkness of night had closed in around us. I located a flashlight with a narrow handle suitable for our fingerless companion to operate. I gave a flashlight to Lena and when are torches were all lit; we really began to see the beauty of the rocks. Iridescent plates of glass lay strewn about, some jagged, some dissolving into other forms. I found clumps of what looked like hair in several places. Upon further inspection what we were looking at was strands of glass. As the lava flowed down the mountain during the original flow the outer edges and the top of the molten river cooled and hardened. Great sheets of rock would then spin and cartwheel, tumbling over other stones and boulders. Like taffy, strands of glass would stretch and pull from these roiling pieces.

If we had not made it to where the lava was still pouring into the ocean I would have never believed what we were looking at was natural. Hawaii is known for warm breezes however as the orange glow we had been pursuing became brighter we suddenly felt a heat that was far from tropical. A great steamy breathe and belches of brimstone came on the wind long before we found the lava. Nearing a bluff we were awed to see a huge plume of vapor and smoke ahead. Soon the sweat on our foreheads was no longer from exertion. Just as we began to worry that perhaps the flow of magma was running beneath our feet we discovered our destination.

I can scarcely convey in words the feeling that coursed through my blood and bones. There are few experiences I have had with nature that come close. Seeing Mars or the rings of Saturn through a telescope for the first time. Watching a total eclipse of the sun when I was little. Staring down into the gorges in Eastern Washington or staring up at the redwoods in California. These sites are amazing in their own way. What the three of us saw that night was made even more dramatic by the interplay of opposites. The flow of lava was only visible at the edge of the sea. Watching the vibrant warm honey of the earth’s blood mix and splash with the amniotic fluid of all life left us dumbfounded. Braving the heat we peered over the edge of a serrated ridge. We could only get as close as we were because of the shifting ocean breeze. Despite our barrier of stone we were still almost a mile away. The ultimate expression of yin and yang was playing itself out before us. Hot stone pouring into the ocean, trying to cover and fill it up. The ocean spewing a toxic mist into the air and freezing the flow into falling chunks and pebbles. Waves of dark salt water assaulted the coursing river of light. In the presence of such a wonder of nature we three became temporary friends. Trudging back to our truck we told each other much about our lives.

The rest of our time in paradise was spent laying in the sand, absorbing the rays of the sun. When our tans were at their best we got on a plane with our two duffle bags and two backpacks. Leaving on that plane was not a defeat for me. I accomplished a goal and found out I was more capable than I had ever dreamed. Despite what it cost us financially we would not trade that time for anything.

Prejudice was not something I was expecting to find in paradise. The locals who made a living off of us were all too happy to smile and serve us. At restaurants, hotels and bars we were royalty. At beaches, parks and local swimming holes we were another pair of damn tourists. After two months in Hawaii I began to notice a change in my attitude. Some pasty idiot with khaki shorts and long black socks regularly inconvenienced me. Old men in rental cars unable to pick a speed to drive or a lane to be in, irritated me to no end. If I had to listen to another dumb broad from Michigan complain about her pancakes or the price of macadamia nuts I was liable to erupt like Kilauea. I did not enjoy being discriminated against in housing and employment. I do not think that the locals in Hawaii are entirely to blame though. The issue is respect. Few people respect the Hawaiian culture and since not many Hawaiians do either it is difficult to interact together. I miss the scent of wild flowers. In my mind I can still see the lava flowing into the sea. Having fresh fruit and vegetables everyday was a wonderful treat. While I would love to go back, I know that it is not a place for me to live. When Lena and I left for Hawaii we were trying to find out where we wanted to be. We were looking for our way of life. When we left Hawaii we realized that no matter where we went, we were that way of life.

The long and short of it.

2007-07-15T13:26:00.000-07:00

From the UK's Dailymail comes images of the world's smallest man and the world's tallest man, who is a newlywed by the way. Bao Xishun is from Mongolia and is over 7 feet 10 inches. At 2 feet and ~5 inches is(I'm not making this up) Mr. Pingping.

Proof that the human body is truly amazing and strange.

It is good to hear that Mr. Xishun has met a nice girl to spend his life with. I am not sure about Mr. Pingping, but how could he lose with that bowtie. He is definitely as handsome as Verne Troyer.

Stereo Illusion

2007-07-15T07:07:00.000-07:00

Wow! Check out these illusions. A simple animation of two images produces a great 3D perspective. I wont spend a lot of words describing the illusion, you can see them for yourself.

There are more at the link.

Penny Arcade Expo

2007-07-13T22:00:00.000-07:00

Exciting news dear readers. The crew and I will be attending what promises to be a fantastic gaming expo. August 24th through 26th Penny Arcade is hosting the PAX event at the Washington State Convention & Trade Center. The address is 800 Convention Place, Seattle, Wa 98101.

There are a multitude of sponsors and exhibitors.
Sponsors include:
Ubisoft
Microsoft
Arenanet
EA
ITT Tech
Playstation
Intel
Bandai Namco
THQ
Rockstar
Any Many more.

We will be ordering our three day passes soon and heading up to Seattle to attend.
There will be freeplay areas, tournaments, pro panels and concerts.

It sounds like there may be costumes and plenty of wild things to see for those who stay until the 3am closing.

We will post our coverage of the event or better yet come to it yourself and meet the us.

The Chumby Cometh

2007-07-12T21:14:00.000-07:00

If you have not heard of the Chumby you need to check it out. It is like having a widget/Alarm clock/Photo Viewer/weather station/music player/game and animation player. The first few units are ready to be released to a select few people; fifty in fact. The writers here at WhereWasItNow are trying to get our hot little hands on one in order to tell you all about the great features. We are excited about the future of this device and we know that in the next year, thousands of homes will be enjoying their own Chumby.

They are modifiable, programable and customizable; from decorative covers and software hacks to customized widgets. That's right, personalized weather, Facebook and MySpace integration, movie trailers... The list goes on and on.

You can check out all the features and try your very own personal online Chumby at www.chumby.com. You will fall in love.

Stay tuned. We will have more coverage, and if we get one in the mail we will be sure to post photos and an in depth review.

See a version of my personal Chumby at the bottom of the page.

Poll

2007-07-12T12:19:00.000-07:00

Moved

2007-07-11T12:15:00.000-07:00

Where Was It Now has moved into it's new digs; unfortunately we are having technical difficulties with our internet service.
Everything should be resolved shortly, however we are going to be posting from Dr. Mike Robertson's Chiropractic office for the time being, while we wait to get adjusted.
The staff and I are going to get an Airport Extreme soon and test out the network storage capabilities. We know many families that have multiple computers and need somewhere to keep the memories and music they have collected. Not to mention videos from iTunes.
Stay tuned.

New Writers

2007-07-06T19:54:00.001-07:00

We are talking with folks in the Tech Industry about joining the writing staff. Folks with hands on knowledge of the gadgets, software and computers you are interested in.

Stay tuned for notices about upcoming gaming convention coverage and gadget reviews. We will also have more info on the Zonbu.

Technorati

2007-07-06T14:00:00.000-07:00

Technorati
We have joined Technorati.com. Check it out and don't forget to click the green and white link on the left to make us a favorite.
Thanks,

Back from vacation

2007-07-06T06:18:00.000-07:00

We here at the home office have been busily preparing for our move to new digs. We did take a short brake to see some fireworks and burn down a shed.

If you want a little taste of Japan you should definitely try Pink Tentacle. They have just posted a couple of music videos with great 'pop and lock' dance moves.

We should be back later today with some more, so stay tuned.

Zonbu

2007-07-03T11:59:00.000-07:00

We here at WhereWasItNow have been looking at a new device which may represent a new shift in home computing. With the Ubiquitous nature of Broadband and the miniaturization of computer components, the need for storing data in your computer is not only unnecessary, it may not be the most secure way to go.

The Zonbu computer has fast flash memory on board for storing the most used data on your machine, however your most important data is seamlessly backed up on Zonbu's servers and protected from disaster by a team of trained technicians. It is automatic.

Leaving on vacation and don't want to leave your photos and music behind, the information backed up on your Zonbu is available securely online.

The specs show the device to be quite small and it is reported to be silent. No fans.

We will keep users posted on this device and include pricing information in future posts.

If we can get a unit into the lab we will run it through it's paces and post an in depth review of the device. Until then here is a link to a video showing the interface and software available.

Update: This computer supports Apple's iPod and can be had for less than 100 dollars with an inexpensive subscription to the backup and support services.

AdSense

2007-07-03T09:08:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I put up a picture of a donut and today the little ads on my site are all for Law enforcement. Hmmmm... Coincidence?

Squishees and Krusty Oooo's

2007-07-02T21:41:00.000-07:00

7-11 has joined forces with the Simpson's to transform 160 stores to Kwik-E-Marts for the upcoming release of the Simpson's movie.

Each of the stores will be dressed to appear like Springfield's own Kwik-E-Mart owned by Apu Nahasapeemapetilon (sounds just like its spelled). Customers will be able to purchase; 'Buzz Cola', Krusty Oooo's, a Squishee drink and even Homer's favorite Donut with sprinkles.

Sorry no Duff Beer.

To read more and find a store near you, visit the 7-11 site where I got this picture.

Exchange Rate

2007-06-30T06:10:00.000-07:00

Are you intrigued by far off lands and cultures? Do you feel your life is getting a little dull? Let me guess, you don't have the time or money to travel the world. The answer might be to have a foreign exchange student.

My family and I hadn't considered an exchange student until an acquaintance of ours revealed that she was a teacher at the university and taught Japanese students English. Every year their program would receive several Japanese students who were interested in America and English. In order to keep the students from hiding out in the dorms and not experiencing America, they farm them out to local families for two week stays. Our friend needed another family for one of her students and we volunteered to house her.

Ryoko , as we found out later, was a typical Tokyo girl. She wore expensive clothes and went places with groups of friends. She also new very little English. However, she adored our 3 year old daughter and they played together and watched TV. The fact that she hardly new English was not a very big deal. We could communicate about where things were in the house and that it was dinner time. We could also talk about family members and a little about Japan. When she left we all cried.

We enjoyed having a teenager in the house. When you have been married for a little while and have gotten used to life with a toddler it is very refreshing to have a kid who is a little older around. You get to relive that period of your life a little and you also get a taste of whats in store for you and your kids. People may come from other countries and live in different cultures, but there are things that are the same for all teenagers.

We enjoyed the experience and decided to take it up a notch and apply to get a long term student. Soon the Community College called us. One of their Danish students had been placed in a home with a couple that were not getting along. Being a half a world away from home and staying in a broken home was very hard and she requested a new family. That is when we met Mia. Mia is amazing. She was a professional Ballerina from the age of about six and had performed for the queen in Denmark and in other countries. She spent her middle and high school years at a private school in Germany. We have never met a girl her age that was so mature. In fact, we have met many adults who were not half so together. Our time with Mia was fantastic. Like many Europeans, her English was flawless and she had complex opinions on society and politics.

I think the best thing about her stay was that my wife and I had so much love in our little family, which now included a baby boy, which we got to share with Mia. It brought a lot of joy to us to have her in our home. She was very beautiful and had lots of friends she would go spend time with, but when she was homesick she came to us. She is traveling the world again, but she is always welcome in our home.

Our most recent exchange was another Japanese student. Saki was lots of fun. She had spent a few years in America as a child and spoke great English, better than some Americans. She studied hard so there were weeks when she had exams and all we saw of her was the light under her door, but she also loved hanging out with our kids and watching cartoons. She came to parties at friends and relatives houses and we had fun going on short trips to Seattle and even had a chance to go to Disneyland. You have not been to Disneyland unless you have seen it with a Japanese teenage girl, trust us. We love Saki and she is a great big sister to our daughter who is now five and our son who is almost two.

I think the best advice I could give someone is; do not carry preconceived ideas in your head, you will be disappointed. You are not going to sit around in kimonos and eat sushi all day. Your student probably wont have funny catch phrases like, "No more yanky my wanky!" I guarantee that your Czech exchange student wont be a naughty girl who strips for the webcam like American Pie, and they may not always be as polite as Fez from that 70's show.

Exchange students are real people with likes and dislikes, but they see the world a little differently because of where they are from. If your mind is open a lot of things can find their way in and you and your family will be enriched by the experience. Our daughter can look at our world map and see the little heads of our foreign friends pasted on there home towns and we remember our family that is away for awhile. We love these kids and can not wait to see them again. And you never know, someday you might need a place to stay for a week in a far away land, wont it be nice to already have an English speaking friend to stay with?

To find out more about hosting your own student try your local community college or university. You can also try Youth for Understanding which coordinates thousands of exchanges. All you need is a room for the student, the program provides a little money to cover the cost of food, but don't expect to make a living on it. Our short term student ended up costing us money because of the cost of event tickets and gifts, but I would have paid double for the experience.

Persuasive Essay

2007-06-27T22:35:00.000-07:00

I wrote this a few years ago in college.

Clayton Ray Randell
English 102A
Brenda Wilbee
Persuasive Essay; 1808 words
March 3, 2004

Yin Yang

I am standing on a sidewalk in a place I have never been before. Bizarre people of different colors and shapes are all around me, a bewildered four year old. The building across the street is as big as the whole block. Gazing upwards I see that it is taller than any building I have seen before. Windows upon windows, up and up, I am searching for the top. Clear into the blue sky with white clouds streaming by is the distant summit. Craning my neck up to see I am transfixed by the clouds. The weightlessness of the clouds takes my body and I feel my self floating. Suddenly a strong hand cradles me and the clouds are replaced by my fathers face. He is laughing sweetly and tells me that I was about to fall backwards onto the ground. The magic of that moment has stayed with me for all these years. Now that I am a father that moment is even more special. To see that look in a child’s eye, when their imagination takes them away with the clouds. Stories will do that, especially the one that found me on that day. On a street in Seattle waiting to go into the theatre with my dad, I was embarking on a journey of discovery. A journey to “A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far, away…” (Star Wars-Episode 4).

There is a tale I once knew about a boy who goes on an adventure. He meets a wizard. He saves a princess, and he fights the dark knight. This tale illustrates the good and evil within us all. Any good story does. It is a necessary task of stories to delve into the hearts of the listeners. Beneath the light, deep in the roots of all people, dwells the dark.

If any story from my lifetime captures the duality of our universe or the gentle and brutal side of man it is Star Wars. The tale begins with a beautiful young princess trying to escape the clutches of a fierce army of soldiers. The princess and her entourage are surrounded, but not before she gives one of her servants a message to deliver. The servant escapes just as the dark knight appears. The armor of the knight is as black as death and his anger brings death itself to those in his way. The princess is brought before him. Clad in white her delicate frame is counter to the towering shadowy figure. She defiantly says, “Lord Vader, I should have known. Only you could be so bold.” Unperturbed by the young girls outburst he demands to know where the plans for the Emperors new weapon are. The girl denies any knowledge and is taken away.

The servant who escaped is accompanied by another servant. The do not get along and when they cannot agree about where to go they split up. Both are captured by slave traders known as Jawas and are reunited after being purchased by a local farmer. The farmer’s orphan nephew is brash and impatient. After growing up out in the country he yearns to go and fight with the rebels who oppose the Emperor. As he prepares these new servants for duty he tells them about his dreams of adventure. Soon he discovers part of the message from the beautiful girl. The servants tell him that they are looking for a man named Obi-Wan Kenobi. The boy knows a wizard he calls old Ben Kenobi and tells the servants that he lives past the dunes.
In the morning the boy finds the servant missing and attempts to find him, with the other servants help, before his uncle finds out that he removed their bindings the night before. While the boy and his companion are searching in the wastelands bandits ambush them. A figure looms over the horizon as these bandits are scavenging the unconscious boys belongings and frightens them away. As the figure approaches we see that he is an old man in a cloak. He takes the servants and the boy back to his home.

When the boy comes around the old man tells him who he is. He was a knight of the Republic before the time of the Emperor. The boy is startled to find out that Obi-Wan new his father. Obi-Wan gives Luke his father’s saber and explains that the dark knight, who was once his pupil, betrayed and murdered his father. The wizard also explains the source of his magic. He calls it the Force. It is an energy that flows through all things and binds them together. This Force has two sides, light and dark. Obi-Wan explains, “Vader was seduced by the dark side of the Force” (Star Wars-Episode 4).

So begins this epic tale. We are introduced in the first ten minutes to the theme. All people contain good and evil. A man who has been consumed by the dark side of his own nature embodies evil. We find out in time that he was tormented by jealousy, hate, and anger. The princess is the embodiment of good. Draped in pure white she is noble and courageous. The boy, Luke, represents the listener. He is who we are to relate to as we are told to be wary of the path we choose. It is our decision whether we choose selfishness. It is our decision whether we choose revenge. It is our decision to follow the light or fall into darkness.

The boy and the Wizard meet a smuggler named Han Solo in a seedy bar. The boy has never seen criminals and murderers before. His naiveté nearly gets him killed but Obi-Wan draws his sword and slays the attacker. This scene exposes Luke to the real world. Much of the story revolves around the external influences on the characters and how they deal with the emotions generated. Han Solo represents greed and self interest. Han explains that he is in it for the money and for himself. We begin to see that he does have other interests when he meets the princess. He angrily tells her that he does not take orders from anyone but himself. Princess Leia then insults him saying she is surprised that he is still alive. As she walks away Han tells his first mate “No reward is worth this!” Showing that his dignity means more to him than money. (Star Wars-Episode 4).

The princess herself is confronted with conflicting emotions. She could have been consumed with anger and hatred after her homeland is destroyed by the Emperor’s new weapon. Instead she follows the path of righteousness and puts these feelings behind her so that she can continue to help others by completing her mission. Luke has one of his most difficult tests when he meets the oldest Jedi knight, Yoda. During his training they come to a hollow in a tree. Luke is uneasy. “There is something not right here. I feel cold, death.” Yoda points to the opening “That place...is strong with the dark side of the Force. A domain of evil it is. In you must go.” “What is in there?” Luke asks. “Only what you take with you.” Luke straps on his weapon, despite Yoda’s insistence that he will not need it. Inside he is confronted by the dark knight. Luke draws his saber and decapitates the black figure. When the helmet falls to the ground it is revealed that Luke is the dark knight. This vision is a warning to him that he must fight the evil within himself before he can meet it in life. (Star Wars-Episode 5)

The climactic fight between Darth Vader and Obi-Wan Kenobi epitomizes the struggle between good and evil. Obi-Wan has arranged for he and Vader to meet. The dark knight taunts the old man as he approaches. Swords are drawn and the combat begins. The sound of their battle echoes through the hallways of the fortress. “Your powers are weak old man.” says Vader. Obi-Wan replies, “If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.” While trying to make a get away Luke and the princess see Obi-Wan and Vader from a distance. Luke calls to the old man. This is when Obi-Wan’s plan is made clear. Closing his eyes he holds up his sword and allows Vader to strike him. His clothes fall to the floor like a cast off skin. Obi-Wan relinquishes his body so that the others may escape. This runs contrary to Darth Vader’s quest to retain his body, most of which has been replaced by robot pieces as he has been injured over time. Hence the rhythmic sound of his breath for which he is easily identified. The fight symbolizes the struggle between forces. Sacrifice and conquest. Humility and pride. Submission and aggression. Man and machine. Life and Death.

Yin Yang depicts the repulsion and attraction of opposites, the duality of nature itself. Though the concept is originally of Eastern descent it has been adapted to many theories from the Western world. Carl Jung forwarded the idea that the mind of man was of opposing components (Jung). “The Forbidden Planet” starring Leslie Nielson warned us to recognize our Id and Ego (The Forbidden Planet). These symbols and theories are not coincidence. They exist because of the universal nature life. In each of us exists the capacity to do good or evil. Love and hate springs from the same heart. Myths and fantasies allow us to safely trespass the dark alleys of our soul. Stirring the dragon, we dance to the light of the flames, and come away unscathed. We are able to satisfy our dark passions and can return to our normal life warned of what evil lays in our hands. Children must cope with these emotions just as we do. Without the experience that an adult has acquired they have no other frame of reference. In a story like Star Wars a child can be saved from the dark knight. They can also terrify like the dark knight. Who hasn’t tried to breathe like Darth Vader? Stories, paintings, movies and music all reflect mans nature of light and dark Force.

Works Cited
Forbidden Planet, The. Dir. Fred M. Wilcox. Perf. Leslie Nielson, Walter Pidgeon, Anne Francis.
Warner Studios, 1956.
Jung, Carl G. Man and His Symbols. Garden City, NY: DoubleDay, 1964.
Star Wars - Episode IV, A New Hope (Special Edition). Dir. George Lucas. Perf. Mark
Hamill, Harrison Ford, Alec Guiness, Carrie Fisher, and James Earl Jones. Twentieth
Century Fox, 1977.
Star Wars - Episode V, The Empire Strikes Back. (Special Edition). Dir. George Lucas.
Perf. Mark Hamill, Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, and James Earl Jones.
Twentieth Century Fox, 1980.

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Randell PAGE 6

iPhone. Heard of it?

2007-06-27T12:57:00.000-07:00

The build up of hype for the upcoming iPhone is staggering. People are already lining up in New York to get one. Apple of course, is well versed on how to arouse the market. Especially fervent fanboys.

The vitriol that gets spewed by some of the supposed journalists out in the ether-nets, against Apple and its products is astounding. These people have not held the product or even seen one, yet they rain all over the parade of anyone who admits an interest.

It all started anew with the release of Safari 3 for Windows. Bloggers began shouting to the rooftops that Safari had bugs and was not secure. OMG, really!? A beta has bugs? and software that runs on Windows has security issues. Many people claimed that it did not display "tons" of websites correctly, although only one person posted one website that did not work. http://www.orr.be, by the way.

Then when Apple releases an update they complain that Apple did not fix all the issues at once. Like waiting another week to do them all, was a better idea.

With equal bias of course are the rabid Apple fans, who ignore all debate and pump the hype up so big that the only outcome will be disappointment.

The few, or I should say 3 people that got the iPhone in advance in order to review, were hand-picked by Apple. Walt Mossberg of the Wall$treet Journal, David Pogue of the New York Times and Edward C. Baig from USA today. Apple picked brilliantly. The reviews were not total love fests, they were honest. However, each reviewer gave the phone the time to make a real impression on them. I value their ability to be fair. Walt seemed to be underwhelmed but lauded the advances over traditional devices. David has great delivery and his podcast is very entertaining and informative. Edward's piece was extremely positive, but still doled out criticism where it was due.

After all this do I still want one? You bet your bippy. On Friday will I cancel my T-Mobile, throw away my Nokia 6600 and put $600 down. Not likely. Someday. When iPhone 2G with 3G comes out.

Opera 9.2

2007-06-26T16:18:00.000-07:00

Looking for an easy to use full featured web browser that is intuitive? Want one that can be customized with different styles? Need tabs? Heard of Mouse Gestures?

You need Opera 9.2.

When I first got on the internet in 1995 on my Macintosh Performa 638, I used Netscape. I then graduated to Internet Explorer and suffered with it for years, until Safari came along.

Safari had tabs and could be used with little or no conscious effort. In fact when I am dead tired and just want to veg on some YouTube clips, it is my browser of choice. Then I was saddled with a Dell laptop at work. I ran IE 6 for awhile and quickly dropped it for IE 7 beta. IE 7 is a huge advance over the previous version. Unfortunately that is not saying much. IE 7 leaves a lot to be desired. I hopped on the FireFox bandwagon for a year and was impressed with the themes and plugins. Eventually though, as much as I liked the look of the interface it was the 'user' interface that left me wanting.

Enter Opera 9.2. I had been considering which next generation game console I was going to purchase when I read an article about the web browser available for the Wii. I decided to test the browser before settling on the Wii and I was amazed.

The settings were easy to find. Upgrades happened without putting themes and other options out of service. I could set up email accounts and chat accounts directly in the browser. The big ones for me were the built in RSS feed reader and the customizable search options. The feeds look great and several types are supported. The customizable search allows you to right-click any search field on a website and create a hot key search out of it. If I want to search for Elvis collectibles I type "e elvis" in the address bar to search ebay. If I want to see what movies he was in I type "i elvis" to search the Internet Movie DataBase. "a" for Amazon, "g" for google "w" for wikipedia and so on. You get the idea.

The most recent version also allows you to set up nine 'Speed Dial' websites. When I type "2" in the address bar I get GMail. "4" gets me Apples Quicktime movie trailers and so on. Setting up your Speed Dial pages is easy. click on an open spot and a dialog box with your most used sites and current open tabs appears. You can also just enter most of the address; i.e., apple.com. When you open a new tab your Speed Dial pages load up with current thumbnails of the pages to click on.

Another great feature are the Mouse Gestures. Hold the right button and flick left; you'll be sent back a page right-click a link and flick down and up; you'll get the link loaded in a new tab in the background. Hold the right mouse button and scroll; you'll switch between tabs. It becomes second nature.

Another feature similar to ask.com's binoculars is the ability to hover over a tab and get a pop-up thumbnail of the page without switching to it. This is great for websites that name every window the same thing.

As a geek I understand the urge to hack your browser like you can with FireFox. I also understand the need to have interoperability like you get with IE, however for those of you who don't code and are tired of restarting IE's lame UI. Opera is an elegant and friendly browser.

I am currently testing Safari 3 beta which is easy and beautiful, however I find myself trying to 'flick' back a page and wishing I could search Wikipedia instead of Google in the search bar. When I finally dump this Dell and get back to my PowerBook, I am exporting my Opera links and feeds to the Mac version of Opera. By the way there is a Series 60 version of opera, a MiniOpera for web accesible phones and of course the Wii version with Wii-mote enhanced options, as well as other products. If you haven't seen Opera you should try it because chances are you will end up with a gadget that has it installed.

Blog, blog, blog...

2007-06-26T12:38:00.000-07:00

What could I possible contribute to the 350 million blog posts this month. Not much on the first one. I am going to keep typing until I get good or at least better. I am interested in Sci-Fi shows, movies, technology and misc.

I will attempt to focus some of the immense amount of information on the internet into a blog related to my interests, which others may share. Why waste hours of your life reading the internet for those few noteworthy items a day, like I do. Just check in with me for the goods.

Tip: Don't be annoying, people who are annoying do not have freinds.

Most wanted list this week:

iPhone

Wii

R4 card

A new job

If anyone could help me with these I would appreciate it.

Stay tuned more; to come.

Star Trek or Star Wars?
	Star Trek
	Star Wars
	I speak Klingon.
	Han Shot first!
	I watch Days of Our Lives
	FireFly

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